I've Changed

55. I know

TW: SELF HARM/SUICIDE, EATING DISORDER

(WARNING TO ALL READERS THAT THERE IS MATURE CONTENT AHEAD!! CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!)

Jae's pov

~2 weeks later~

When I knock on the penthouse door, everything falls silent as Sofie opens it with a glum expression. I walk in and close the door behind me before turning to face my friends in their living room. On the single sofa, Eric is comforting Alex, who has swollen eyes and cheeks. Sofie takes a seat in the middle, between Malcom and Theo, and rests her head on Theo's shoulder. Finally, as I approach the far corner of the room, I see Elijah and Lucas staring into the distance, causing the entire room to become tense and silent. There isn't a single sound in the room.

As I approach the party, Malcom clears his throat and informs me, "She hasn't come out." I'm able to get a closer look at their sad and guilty expressions.

"Did you try?" Knowing how much pain I'm in for Ellie, my voice cracked at the end. Since she's been locking herself in her room, none of us have been able to reach her, speak to her, or comfort her. I haven't seen her in two weeks, and I've been breaking down every day since then, numb from the tears and anguish. None of us have seen or heard from her, which has been affecting everyone's mood because all we want to do is speak to her. All I want to do is hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her.

"All of us," as the room goes quiet again, Sofie mumbles, Theo rubbing her arm for comfort. I informed them what happened at the dinner conference when we returned from Vancouver. They were stunned, but mostly frightened and upset, since they couldn't believe anyone could do such a thing to Ellie. Though we haven't received confirmation, and it would be horrible to presume, all of the facts, including the ripped underwear I chose for her, the marks on her neck Sofie mentioned, and Ellie isolating herself in her room for hours, gives the impression the situation is much worse.

"Why don't you give it a shot, Jae?" Malcom smiles sheepishly as he consoles Sofie, who is crying into Theo's chest. Before hesitantly walking down the hall to her room, I bite my cheek and silently nod. I've been worried, anxious, and afraid for her because I have no idea what she's going through. All I know is that it's tough for her, and I'd do anything to relieve her suffering, to see her smile again, and to hear her converse freely with her friends.

Everyone has been on edge, checking in on her from time to time because we care for her so much to let her leave this world. I can't even admit that she attempted to commit suicide, and seeing her leave too soon makes my heart break because she doesn't deserve any of this. After all she's been through, it hurts to see her suffer. To know how much pain and suffering she goes through on a daily basis. I don't want her to leave, and I'm not sure what I'd do if she did. She's far too amazing and perfect to be let go of. I love her too much to allow that to happen.

I mumble "Ellie Mae" through the door, the silence answering. I knock on the door, hoping she'll give me a sign, but I get no answer, just like the other days I've been there. "I just want to hear you this once," I almost beg, curious if she's okay, if she's at least listening, but everything is still and quiet. "I miss you Ellie Mae, we all do..." I close my eyes and press my forehead against the door, wishing she was in my arms like she used to be. "Take as much time as you need, and I-I'll always be here for you," I say, biting my tongue to keep tears from streaming down my face. "Please," I say quietly as I clutch the door handle and rush back when it opens.

My brows furrow as the door swings open, and my heart skips a beat in anticipation, but then falls mute in concern since Ellie always locks her door. I look out into the hallway, hearing Malcom and Lucas' voices faintly before opening the door and seeing no one on the other side.