I've Changed

59. the truth

TW: SELF HARM/SUICIDE, RAPE

(WARNING TO ALL READERS THAT THERE IS MATURE CONTENT AHEAD!! CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!)

"WHAT," says Malcom, and I cringe at the thought of using their names in the same phrase. The two people that hurt me the most, power couple and am I right?

"I've always thought it was odd that they're both compatible. Cassidy was also assisting Mark as her patient while I interned for the department in my first year. They were clingy, close, and engaged in a lot of conversation. And what happened to me explains why she did it," I explain, my gaze falling on the heaps of documents strewn about the desk. Russo is glancing out the window at the distant cars and buildings, which I notice.

"What do you mean?"  I raise my eyes to gaze at Malcom, who has furrowed his brows. I get up and walk over to the desk, where I place the photos of Mark and Matteo next to the Lewis family so they can see the bigger picture. Before walking back, I sense their gazes following my every step.

"I believe they're allies," I say as I stand between the pictures of the two families, horrified by each of them. "They don't just work for the same business; I believe they are partners."

"It couldn't have been a coincidence that I dated Mark and Cassidy dated Jae. I'm sure there's a reason, and it's all Cassidy's fault."

"This is juicy," Malcom says as I walk around the room, trying to gather my thoughts when my mind wanders to my past and nightmares. I keep myself from approaching the cabinet because I'm afraid I'll panic and open the drawers to get the scissors and knife. Unfortunately, it's an addiction.

"A normal human being wouldn't be with someone for three years and then cheat on them during all of that time," I shake my head, gazing out the window before regretting it when I look down at the fading view of the cars, which makes my head dizzy from the hallucinations. "Psychopaths thrive on pain and fear. That's why, even in high school, she continues to hurt me and wants to see me break down and suffer the consequences of her actions. She wants to take everything from me, the one thing she didn't have before...Mark. All that was left for her plan was to break Jae's heart, which she did repeatedly by sleeping with Aaron until he was heartbroken. After all this time, I've come to the realisation that she doesn't love Aaron or Jae..."

"Cassidy loves Mark."

"Holy shit," Malcom exclaims as I reclaim my seat and notice Russo still staring out the window at the Toronto skyline.

"Even though sociopaths have a hard time committing to relationships and the emotions of love and care, there is some type of obsession and need when you've been with someone for a long time."

"Attachment issues..." mumbles Malcom, his eyes widening slightly as he snaps his head between me and Russo. "What exactly does this have to do with-"

"At the dinner conference," I stutter, squeezing my eyes shut as a flashback to that night floods my mind. When I replay my thoughts over and over, the same sense of emptiness and helplessness returns to me. While my other hand plays with the necklace, I shake my head and wrap my arms around myself for comfort.

I bite my lower lip to keep the tears from flowing, the trauma of that night resurfacing in my mind, causing me to relive the agony. I try to catch my breath by slowing my breathing as instructed by my therapist, but it's difficult. I'm not telling a stranger about what happened anymore, but for the first time I'm telling my only family and friend. They'll be the first to find out.

"Matteo thought I stole the money because he didn't get a share like him, and Russo decided to deal on," I notice Russo walking away from the windows and stopping in front of his desk, looking down at my evidence and papers on his desk. "I-I got hurt," I say as I look down at my lap, Malcom rubbing my shoulder, which I dismiss because it provides no comfort or assurance. "I-I suffered Cassidy's consequences because Matteo mistook me for the person that stole his money because I was the last person to hold the $300,000 in my hands, but that was not the case."