✧ ཻུ۪۪. love is the most beautiful of dreams ,
and the worst of nightmares . . .
in which the quiet sister of lizzie and mika learns that to love deeply is to ache - that hurt is part of the package, and the beauty...
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ELLA,
I know that i'm probably the last person you wish to hear from, after everything that happened between us.
It's not fair, what happened to you. What I did. I wish there was more I could say, than that. It would be pointless for me to try and make you forgive me, for all of it, when that's impossible. It's even more cruel to make you remember everything you're trying to forget, by avoiding me, with this. I know all of that.
You should know what happened. From start to finish. I found Lizzie and Mika with Tyreese, we found a house, not too long after. We were on our way to Terminus, needed a break. We were only there for a couple of days. It was peaceful. It was a place they could distract themselves, wind down after what had happened. They never did calm down after they lost you. Both of them, they only got worse. Mika cried, Lizzie didn't. Lizzie was always quiet.
I could have prevented it if I knew the truth, how Lizzie really was. I knew how she felt about them, the walkers. I just never knew it was that bad. I had watched her kill them, the day before it happened. I didn't expect her to do it. We had left them alone, right outside the house with Judith. Me and Tyreese went to go get some more water. It only took five minutes. When we came back, she was gone. Lizzie killed Mika, and was about to kill Judith. It happened so fast.
I want you to know that I didn't let her turn. We got Lizzie away, tried to talk to her. Found out that this wasn't a new belief of hers. We had no other choice. In our state, we didn't. I shot her. It was quick, fast. It was over before she even knew I raised my gun.
I don't know if I would have done things differently if I knew you were alive. I'm going to be honest with you. Keeping her alive was too risky, with Judith. She wanted to prove it to us, somehow. Make us believe her. Even her reaction to Mika not being able to turn was unpredictable, something we couldn't handle on our own. You have to understand that. I never wanted to do it. I regret it every single day. But I know I didn't make a mistake. Even if I doubt myself. Even if you do.
