It's hard to forget

7.My decision

I slowly opened my eyes and turned around to face Anurag and all I could see in his face was concern and care. He wanted me to tell him I was okay verbally. My acceptance hum is not enough for him.

"I am okay Teddy, I am at least now." I smiled and hugged him. I didn't care how Samy felt or what he would do, but I only missed my teddy bear, my true best friend who left me only because I asked him to do so.

"I am sorry Anurag. I am sorry for making you leave us. Sorry for not giving you a chance to explain your version. " I said and I could feel Samy going away from us as his scent was not there anymore and I could visibly notice his presence with my eyes closed.

I broke our hug and looked into his eyes taking in his emotions. "I am sorry too doll. I didn't try enough and it's my fault too. But I missed you so much. I missed that idiot as well. I miss our awesome threesome..." He said and that last sentence brought a smile to my face.

" I know. I miss us too .. " once those words are out I have nothing else to say. But I miss him and told him so and it's done. What else to say? He is not Samy. I can't speak for hours and hours about anything with anyone except that stupid.

I used to speak a lot with Anurag before all this happened. He is my teddy bear who listened to all sorts of crap from me and never judged me in any way. But now it's missing and we can't be like before as so many things have changed.

"Hmm.. how's life?" I asked and I know that felt crappish as we don't do small talk. We never did small talk. He understood my struggle and his eyes smiled. "I will have to write a journal for that as I can't explain my 4 years life in a simple sentence. It's not all good, bad, and not interesting also. Life... is going on doll. It will always ... It will not wait for anyone. You know that better than me." He said without breaking his eye contact.

That's what I am not doing. Moving on with my life. Even after my break up I am still practically living with my ex-boyfriend with his current girlfriend as we have the same group of friends. What Anurag's words told me indirectly is I have to move along with my life instead of grasping my past and hurting like hell.

"Hey, sweetie... You are okay?? " He asked as I didn't reply and I am not in this world as well. My thoughts left this conversation and I am thinking of the same thing I have been thinking for a lot of time.

" Yeah. I am. It's just that I am struck in between few things and I am not able to move on from there." I told him as I used to discuss everything with him when we were best friends.

He nodded and as if he knew what I was talking about he said with a deep sigh " You know what doll? You are a fighter. And what's more interesting about you is. It's your decision. It's always your decision dear. Always..."

He is right... It is my decision. Not now, not yesterday.. not 2 years ago..and not 4 years ago. Whatever the consequences are or whatever the conditions that caused them are it's always me who made that decision.

I decided that Anurag is not going to be in my life. I decided that I didn't want to have any contact with my dad. I decided that I should not dance anymore. I decided that I couldn't be with Samy or I didn't want to forget him for what he had done. I decided to restart my dancing and I made it my profession as well. I gave my dad a chance again as I decided it was time to bring back my lost life. I decided that I had to meet Anurag again and I did it. It's always my decision.

"I can see your wheels turning in your mind. Penny for a thought?? " He asked and I came out of my whirlwind of thoughts. I smiled back and said " My thoughts are worth at least a thousand dollars. A penny will not be enough. " He smiled at that.

I am glad that we found our rapo again and this time I don't want that to be messed up.

"If your reunion is done. Come and get your phone Anurag. It's shouting like hell for the past half an hour. " Shresta shouted and that made Anurag smile. He nodded at me saying that he had to get that and he left from there.

And that's when I noticed exactly where he was staying. I know that Pune is pretty much a city but this fellow is staying in a place filled with trees and a small pond beside. Even the building in which he is staying is pretty country-type. I liked this. It's so good for my dance practice as I can't find peace even though how hard I try in those cities.

"What did you two talk about?" I hear a grumpy and rigid voice from my back making my body go stiff. I still can't stop my body from reacting to his presence. "Tell me, angel. What did you two speak of? Have you guys planned anything to take your revenge on me?" His voice came from nearby than before. That means he is more close to me than before.

I know he is joking about that revenge thing. He knows about us and he knows that we won't be doing any of that crap. "He told me he missed you. Not only me but he missed you too." I said not able to lose my eye contact with the beautiful scenario in front of me and the cool feeling that I got because of his mere presence.

He sighed. I got the resentment in his voice. I turned to face him and saw that he was holding a glass filled with something. I guess water or something for me?

He extended his hand and gave me that glass and I took that. It's juice. Not sure what kind but it is juice. I took a sip out of that glass and it was mango juice. My favorite. "Thanks. But you don't have to bring this to me. I will be coming inside in some time." I said playing with the rim of the glass.

"I know. I don't have to. But I want to." He said after taking a seat beside the car on a bench which I didn't notice till now. I went and sat beside him making him shocked as all these years I have been trying hard to get away from him.

But now I want to try something different. Not sure how I felt about trying this new technique but I am sure I will be okay as this is also going to be My DECISION...And finally, I have to move on from him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE-- Hi my dear friends... Hope you like my story and my other book Wedding Diary as well. Please make sure to vote and comment and let me know how you feel about this chapter...