Alone

Chapter 4

I took a deep breath and brought the handheld mirror in front of my face and I smiled.

Wow.

I loved it.

I had gotten my hair cut and now it only went to my ears. The short length brought out my dark brown eyes. I ran my hand through my newly cut hair. I had a weight lifted off my shoulders, literally. I felt much more at ease. I wasn't trying to be something I'm not. I wasn't a girl, I knew that I just didn't know what I was.

I stood up, beaming as I ran up to Alex. She had come with me because my mom was at work. "Wow you look amazing, that cut really suits you" she smiled as she ruffled my hair with her hands. I laughed and hugged her. I was so happy I couldn't help myself. I felt her arms wrap around me as I buried my head in her shirt. I pulled away from her and grinned. "Come ok lets go get some food" I giggled as I grabbed her hand and stared dragging her to the door. "Ok ok" she laughed as she pulled her hand away and put her arm around my shoulder as we walked out the door. We walked out into the parking lot and I stopped. Alex stopped too and looked at me. This was the last place I had hung out with Amelia. No today was not about her. "Whats wrong?" Alex asked me gently. "Nothing" I shook my head and we kept walking. "Are you sure you're ok?" Alex pressed. "I don't know, it's just this is the last place me and Amelia spent time together." Alex knew about Amelia, she didn't like her either and Alex was totally supportive when I told her I liked girls, she even seemed happy. Alex stopped walked and looked at me, her blue eyes gazing into mine. She took a step towards me and wrapped her arms around me. I welcomed the hug and I hugged her back. Amelia never really cared when I was sad. I was just now realizing how mean she was sometimes. I guess my crush on her just blinded me from all that. Like once we were at school and a boy wearing makeup walked past us and she laughed and whispered in my ear about what a freak he was. Alex would never do that. Alex was a good person.

~

I sighed and sat down at the small table and Alex settled down across from me. She smiled as she picked up a menu. I propped my head up on my arm and stared at her. She was so dang pretty. Oh great I like her. Well at least she probably won't hate me for it. She lowered the menu as she noticed me and she raised her eyebrow with questioning expression on her face. I panicked as I groaned and turned my head. She laughed and put the menu down. "I think I'm just gonna get a salad,I'm not that hungry anyway."

I felt her fingers graze my hand as she handed me the menu. I blushed and quickly took it from her. I sighed and put it down. "I'll just have a salad too." I said as I smiled at her. Just as I said that the waiter came to our table to take our order. "What can I get you?" He asked as he grabbed a pen from his pocket and opened a notepad he held in his hand. "Two salads please. oh and some water, for both of us" Alex told him and I nodded. He wrote down on his notepad and smiled before he walked away.

"So.." I said awkwardly. While fiddling with a string on my hoodie. "What is it?" Alex asked curiously while leaning towards me. "Well uh, what would you do if someone maybe had a little crush, on you..." I dragged out the words as I mumbled,not even sure if she could hear me. Alex looked at me for a second then smirked. "I wouldn't mind, if they're nice we could even get together." She looked at me and smirked again. Her. eyes. oh my god. The way she was looking at me. Her eyes were shining with a emotion I couldn't quite read. Attraction? Fondness? I didn't know. "It'd
be especially nice if she was cute." Alex said not looking away from me. Alex said She. Does she likes girls too?

"You like girls?" I asked. She shrugged "I like everyone, I'm pan. " she said as she smiled at me. "Pan?" I was confused, I didn't know a lot about this stuff. "Oh it means I'm attracted to all genders." She explained. "Ohh ok I got it." I said.

I was about to say something when the waiter came back with our food. "Here you go." He said as he took the glasses of water and the salads off the tray he was holding. "Thank you." I said and he looked at me like I had two heads then nodded and walked off. "Why'd he do that?" I wondered out loud. " I think he thought you were a boy. " Alex told me as she took a sip of her water. "Oh because of my hair, well then why didn't he think you were a boy?" I said as I took my fork out of the cloth it was wrapped in. " Probably because I'm wearing make up." Alex said through a mouthful of food. "some people.." I muttered angrily. "Hm?" Oh she didn't hear me. " Nothing" I said as I started to eat my salad.

~~~

I put the key in the lock and turned it then opened the door. I walked into the house and threw my purse on the recliner as I shut the door. "Hey mom I'm home!" I shouted as I pulled my hoodie over my head and tied it around my waist. "In here honey!" I heard my mom yell from upstairs. I'll go up after I have a snack, I told myself as I made my way to the kitchen and opened the pantry. I grabbed a bag of mini Oreos and left the pantry, closing the door with my foot as I opened the cookies. I grabbed an oreo and threw in the air and caught it in my mouth. I laughed and set the bag down so I could take off my shoes. They were old and dirty with stains on them but they did their job. I put the shoes by the front door then grabbed my cookies and went upstairs. I walked past my mom's room and she was sitting on her bed reading. I pushed the door open and stepped into the large room. She put her book down when she saw me. "Oh I love your hair" she said as she walked over to me, her own long, brown hair tied up in a messy bun. "Thanks" I said with a laugh. She hugged me and then went back to her bed and sat down. She smiled at me before she picked up the book and kept reading.

I shut the door and threw the Oreo bag in the small trash can by the door then jumped onto my bed with a sigh. I was so tired. I sat up and walked over to the window and moved the curtains aside so I could see. It wasn't completely dark yet but the sun was setting. I closed the curtains and went to the nightstand by my bed and set the small alarm clock. I changed into my night clothes and turned the light off. I was to tired to shower even though I should have. I climbed into my bed and covered up as I stared at the roof, thinking about my day. I liked Alex but did she like me? She was smiling at me and stuff but I wasn't sure what that meant. Nobody's ever had a crush on me so I didn't know the signs that someone liked me. Suddenly I started worrying about school the next day. What would Amelia say? Would she have spread rumours about me? Would people make fun of me?
I fell asleep,dreading the next day.