It's a Kiss

Chapter 5

Jace

I looked through the rearview mirror and saw Clary watching me drive away without her. I was so angry at what happened, but it was not her fault. When I saw that poster, something inside me was wishing for it to be true. My feelings for her are changing so much that I am scared, but I have goals I need to stick to. This girl is doing something to me that I cannot explain, but I am not going to give in. After a couple of hours, I heard Clary come in and run upstairs to her room and slam her door shut. I went upstairs to apologize but heard her crying and went back downstairs. Mom called her to dinner but she never came down. During dinner, all I kept feeling was my mother giving me looks until I could not stand it anymore.

"Okay mom, if you have something to say, please say it."

"What happened between you and Clary today? You came home by yourself and she came two hours later, ran upstairs, and slammed the door to her room. She never came down for dinner."

"We just had a misunderstanding. I plan to take a tray of food up to her and fix things."

"I do not know why you do not like Clary. Jace, she is perfect for you. You will lose her if you do not make a move. She will get tired of loving you and find someone else who is ready to return her love."

"Mom, please. I already told you that I am not interested in dating anyone, not just Clary. I have set some goals right now and dating is not at the top of my list."

I went to the kitchen and fixed a dinner plate. I looked for the tray mom keeps around for when one of us is sick and placed the plate on it along with her favorite soda and a piece of mom's apple pie. I made my way upstairs with it and knocked on her door. She finally asked me to come in.

"Hey, I thought that you might be hungry so I brought you a tray of food. Listen, I am sorry that I was angry this afternoon. This should not have happened but it did and I guess I have to make the best of it. Please eat something. I promised mom that you would."

"Thanks, Jace. I am not sure who put up the poster, but I promise to stay out of your way. I will not pursue you or try to even get your attention anymore. You hate me even though I am in love with you. This is a one-sided affair that is more trouble than what it is worth. I am so sorry. This will not happen again."

"Clary."

Clary turned her back on me, but I knew that she was crying. I walked out and closed the door behind me. Mom is right about my losing her because I just did. It is for the best so that now I can really concentrate on my goals. Weeks went by and Clary kept to her word. She stood away from me and only spoke to me in front of the parents during dinner time. I watched her from afar because I still felt something, but I kept it to myself. Then it really hit me when I arrived home.

Clary

My dad saw how miserable I was and finally decided to talk to me. He had to find out what was going on so he asked me to come to the restaurant he owned so that we can have dinner together and talk. We sat at a table in the corner away from the customers and after our server brought us our dinner he started to talk.

"Sweetheart, what has happened between you and Jace? The two of you do not talk, you do not ride with him to school, and you barely look at him. I know that you are in love with him, but this apparently is not working out. Maybe you should just move on and find someone who will love you back."

"Dad, you are right. Jace and I had a misunderstanding, but we worked it out. I just told him that I am giving up on him and will no longer pursue his attention. I am fine."

"Listen, we are going to move out this weekend. I found an apartment not too far from here and this time you will have your own room. It is time that we move on our own and stop overstepping our welcome at the Herondales. They have been great friends and have kept us for a year now, but it is time to go."

"Dad, you are right. It is time for us to move on. There really is nothing for me here. Jace does not love me or ever will. I just will have to live with the fact and move on. Maybe someday, he realizes what you could have had with me. Let us move on."

The weekend came and we had a small truck to pick up the things that we had and what auntie and uncle had gifted us. We were all standing outside saying our goodbyes. Jace was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets looking down at the ground.

"Well Jace, I guess this is goodbye. We will probably bump into each other at school."

"Take care, Clary."

Jace walked away without looking back. This is the last day that I will be in the same house as him. I guess this is the day that I move on without hopes of Jace ever loving me. We got in my dad's car and followed the truck to our new apartment. I leaned my head on the glass and was thinking that I will not be in the same house with Jace again. I did not realize that I had tears running down my face and my dad kept looking at me every few minutes without saying a word. We got to the apartment and the movers unloaded the truck for us. They put our beds together and placed some of the furniture where we wanted. My dad ordered some food and we sat and ate in silence. After we ate, I found my suitcase, found my pajamas, and changed. I kissed my dad goodnight and went to bed. I laid on my bed just thinking about the night he brought me the tray of food and how he looked when I told him that I was not going to pursue him anymore.  Maybe it was all my imagination and I thought he looked hurt. I went to school on Monday and glided through my classes like a ghost. At lunch, Izzy and Maia could not take it anymore and finally asked me what was wrong.

"Clary, you have been moping all day. What happened this weekend? A few weeks ago, Jace freaked out about that poster about us living together. He took off and did not give me a ride home. I ended up walking and it took me two hours to get home because I was wandering around thinking about how angry he was with me. When I got home, I was so upset and went straight to my room without coming down not even for dinner. Jace brought me up a food tray and we talked. He did apologize for being angry. I told him that I was done pursuing him. I could not keep loving him when he did not love me in return."

"Are you going to be alright?" Izzy put her arms around me hugging me tightly.

"That is not all. The last couple of weeks I have been ignoring Jace, only talking to him in front of his parents. My dad could not take this anymore and rented a two-bedroom apartment. We moved this weekend."

Maia just looked at me and then gave me a hug. 

"Clary, I am so sorry. You should have called us."

"I really did not want to talk to anyone, not even my dad. Listen, I am going to the ladies' room. I will see you in class."