Freedom And Despair (BATMM Angst)

Crusher's Diary

"Guys! Guys! I need help!"

"Pickle?" Blaze turned to the green truck in surprise as he burst into the garage, looking worried and panicky. "Pickle, what's wrong?"

"Yeah, what's the matter?" AJ asked.

"It's Crusher! He's missing!" Pickle replied with a sniffle, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I... We... We argued weeks ago, and I... I broke his favorite vase. He left and hasn't come back since!"

"Huh, that IS strange," Starla frowned.

"We haven't seen him since the big cheat he pulled on weeks ago either," Stripes said.

"He hasn't showed up in any of the recent races," Darington added.

"That weird," Zeg commented. "Crusher always show up in races,"

"Where do you think he might have gone, Pickle?" Watts asked the green truck.

"I've checked all of the places he might've went, and he isn't there!" Pickle shook his head and began to sob. "I'm worried so much..."

"Don't worry, Pickle," Gabby assured him. "We'll help you find him,"

"Maybe there's something in his room to help pinpoint where he might be," AJ suggested.

"I... I guess it's no harm to check..." Pickle nodded and sniffled his tears.

AJ and Gabby hopped onto Watts and Blaze's driver seats then the green truck turned to lead them out of the garage and to his and Crusher's place. They entered the house and looked went to the dark blue truck's room to find a clue to where he might have gone.

"I don't see anything," Darington let out a hiss.

"Me neither," Starla sighed.

"Zeg only see Crusher's trophies," Zeg said, pointing to the shelf near the bed. "Ooh! And Zeg see notebook on shelf too!"

"Wait, a notebook?" Blaze reached out to get the notebook. "Hey! It's Crusher's diary!"

"Crusher has a diary?" Watts was surprised.

"Seems that way," Gabby shrugged before turning to the red truck as AJ flipped through the notebook. "So, what does it say, AJ?"

"We'll need to go to the most recent one... the latest he's filled up," AJ said before stopping. "Aha! Found it!"

"So what does it say?" Pickle asked.

"Hmm..." AJ narrowed his eyes at the page he was reading. "Uh, Pickle, this had been filled out last night,"

"Last night?" Stripes raised an eyebrow. "I thought he was missing,"

"He is!" Pickle insisted. "I didn't see him last night! I swear!"

"He must've come in while you were hittin' the hay," Starla suggested.

"But why?" Darington questioned. "Why would be sneak back into his own house?"

"I don't know..." Blaze glanced up at his best friend. "Anything else in there, AJ?"

"He wrote down... apologies," AJ spoke, eyebrows furrowing as he felt his heart drop at what he was reading. "Blaze, I... I think you should take this one,"

"Um, okay?" Blaze took the notebook and read the page out loud.

'Dear Blaze and AJ, if you're reading, which I have a feeling you would, I'm sorry. For everything and every cheat I've done to you both. I'm writing it down now because I know that I don't have much time...'

"What does that mean?" Watts asked.

"Was he running away from someone?" Stripes questioned.

"I... I don't know..." Blaze swallowed, wiping the tears threatening to roll down his eyes as he handed the diary to the others. "but... but the next passage is for you guys..."

Darington took the diary in surprise. The others gathered around him as the stunt truck read the passage out loud.

'And to the other racers, I'm also sorry for everything I've done to you. To Zeg, I'm sorry for calling you a monster. To Stripes and Starla, I'm sorry for being a bad friend and for ruining our friendship in the past. And to Darington, I'm sorry for not being good enough to help you through your depression. To Gabby, I'm sorry for stealing your tools and not appreciating what you do for me. To Watts, I'm sorry for not being a welcoming person when you first came to Axle City...'

It was only one apology for each of them, but each word meant something to them. They didn't even realize that they were crying until Darington handed the diary to Pickle before wiping his tears away.

"The... The last passage's for you, P..."

"F-For me...?" Pickle felt himself nervous as he shakily flipped the page and read the passage meant for him.

'And lastly, Pickle. I have SO many things to apologize to you for. I've done so much to you that I shouldn't get away with it, but you let me anyway. I'm sorry for how I treated you. I'm sorry for pulling you down every now and again. I'm sorry for putting you and your family in danger because of my cheats. I'm sorry for not appreciating every little thing that you and your family had done to me. You had accepted me and had stuck by me for as long as I can remember. While everyone else left, only you stayed, no matter what.

And for that, I love you.

And for that, I will miss you.

But Aunt Fern is waiting for me on the other side of the waves.'