into a moment in time

second chapter

Betty Atlas POV

Last Year (June 2009)

A good person.

That's all I've ever wanted to be, but am the farthest thing from it. I'm mean and bitchy for no reason, the slightest things irritate me beyond my limits.

I can't help other people because I can barely help myself.

It's gotten worse since my dad got sick. Hes managed to smoke his way into the need of a lung transplant because he can't go 5 minutes without having a cigarette between his lips, killing him slowly. And finding a donor lung is not as easy as they make it seem on television.

That's why I tell James he shouldn't smoke. But since when does he ever listen to me?

He doesn't know about my father's situation, no one really does, so he assumes I'm just being paranoid with all the smoking side effect commercials I'm seeing one television.

News flash, my family is a living, breathing smoking side effect commercial.

Through constant hospital visits, I've found out that Bowie (a classmate of mine)'s mom is a well known surgeon there and has transplant centre connections.

He also happens to sit next to me in english class, and I've gotten to know him better within these past few weeks.

He's not too good at english. He can speak it just fine, but his grammar and linguistics need work. He says his younger sister is the one that's gifted with words. Augustine is her name, I think.

We've decided to work on our end of the year assignment together, and I'm being as nice as possible because his mom agreed to see what she can do about moving my father's name higher on the transplant list. And because I'm trying to turn a new leaf before summer.

Prom was postponed this year because the gym was being renovated so they've moved it to the end of June. During our spare class today, which was coincidentally also our last class, most of the juniors went into the gym to help set up the speakers a week in advance and test the volume and quality for the music.

My best friend, and platonic soulmate Inez, connects the school's laptop to the speakers and begins to download the prom playlist. Me and a few other of my classmates are clearing the area where the speakers are going to be placed, as well as sweeping all the dust off the floor.

Everyone is talking and the room is buzzing with conversation about prom and who's going to wear what and who's going to take who.

James promised to take me and I already have my dress and his matching tie. We're all set.

Suddenly, the speakers boom and the song Never Say Never by The Fray starts playing. Over the course of the past few weeks, it has come to Bowie's understanding that being a The Fray fan consumes a large portion of my personality.

He walks over to me with a grin on his face that I've learned to admire. He sticks his arm out and reaches for my hand, in a gesture to invite me to dance with him. Everyone drops their things and starts slow dancing with each other, so I grab Bowie's hand and we begin to dance. Not in a romantic way, but I can see his cheeks go pink when my green eyes meet his hazel ones.

I take the time to take in his facial features. His beautiful eyes that are moulded into the shape of almonds with a golden hazel pool flowing inside, seeing the wonders of the world and what life has to offer, are glowing as he looks into mine.

My eyes trace his lips which are in perfect shade and shape to the rest of his face. That mouth that contains his beautiful smile he never really shows, which upsets me quite a bit because he's gifted with such naturally straight and white teeth.

I don't realize how fast his heart is beating until I zone back into reality and feel his arms around me, holding me in an embrace. He smells of cinnamon and pine, it's different from James' typical cologne which usually irritates me and makes me nauseous.

His thick, curly brown hair tickles my forehead as he dips his head down to rest on top of mine. This moment feels oddly romantic and even though I'm with James and love him dearly, I can't seem to want this moment to end.

I allow myself to remain in this position for a bit, feeling the arms of a new person around me. A person I can now call my friend.

I hear the gym doors open, but don't mind seeing who it is because I'm too caught up in the moment and my back is facing towards the door. It then shuts abruptly and dramatically which makes me flinch. Bowie notices but doesn't pay too much attention or pry into why a door slam would make me flinch. I'm grateful for that. And for him.

The song ends and I hear Inez exclaim, "Okay losers the speakers are working you can all stop humping each other and go home!"

Everyone chuckles as they let go of eachother, Bowie and I included. They all grab their stuff and head outside, ready to walk, drive, or take the bus home.

Inez walks up to me, her auburn hair curled to perfection and her freckled face all smiley and happy.

"Bye Betty, I'll see you tomorrow. Text me." She slings her backpack over her back and gives me a quick hug before grabbing her phone from the top of the speaker, where she placed it when we walked in. Her purple sundress sways from the breeze of the air conditioning as she heads for the doors.

I wave goodbye with a smile on my face and go to grab my things. As soon as I turn around, I see that friendly old face of the boy I was just dancing with looking down at me. He hesitates before asking, "Need a ride home?"

I smile, "No thanks, James usually walks me home and he'll probably be here any minute now"

I see his face drop but he quickly hides it with a smile before saying goodbye. He heads to the men's locker room to grab his gym bag and water bottle because he left them in there after practice this morning. He then shoots me a quick wave before exiting the gym, leaving me alone.

I hear the schoolbell ring, indicating that James' classes have ended so he should be here soon. I decided to text him to let him know I'm in the gym.

To James : Heyyy, idk if ur in class or ditching but I'm in the gym so u can just come get me from here and then we can walk home <33

A few minutes pass and I check my phone to see if he answered.

No reply.

Is he seriously being this petty right now?

James and I are currently on a break because we argued about his smoking problem and his new drinking problem he's seemed to pick up, and he's being a real asshole. He thinks our break is about him standing me up but I could honestly care less about that. I'm mad because of the reason he stood me up.

He was drunk. Very, very drunk.

But even though we don't come to terms with certain things and fight alot, he still keeps his promises to me.

He walks me home from school every day, rain or shine, fighting or not. He walks me home, our fingers intertwined and things feel serene. Until we get to my block and our fingers detangle, I walk into the chamber of screams and cries, death and sorrow.

And the serenity sits outside on the front porch, waiting for me to pick it up and take it with me to school the next day, only to repeat the same cycle over and over and over again.

Those walks were the best parts of my day. After stressful hours of academic torture, i get to walk with one of my favourite people. Just us and no one else.

Until today.

Until right now, where I'm sitting in the gymnasium, all alone, waiting for James.

He hasn't showed up yet.

Everyone's left. I'm alone.

He can't do this. I can't walk home alone. I haven't in the past 8 months. He knows why and he wouldn't just forget or do it just to spite me.

Would he?