into a moment in time

seventh chapter

Augustine Jareau POV

Last year (June 2009)

Trigger Warning : Body Image Issues / ED Talk , Brief Mention of Suicide

Embarrassed.

That's all I felt last Saturday when I showed up at the diner James suggested we meet at, only to stand me up.

I waited. I waited, I waited, and I waited. Like an idiot, I sat there, in the booth of Jimmy's, awaiting the arrival of someone who was never coming to begin with. And I'm surprised because?

I've let this little crush go too far. He's not single, I keep reminding myself. He's with Betty and it's childish of me to assume the attention I'm receiving from him is anything more than a sick game he's trying to play.

I sat in that booth, until probably 1 am. I didn't even order anything, despite the multiple protests from the diner manager, who saw me looking heartbroken. He always pushes me to order, even when I'm with Fallon. When we meet - met - for milkshakes and burgers every Tuesday, it usually was just her who would order. I never did. I just wanted an excuse to spend time with her.

That whole diner situation was last week though. I have had plenty of time to get over it by now. It's almost prom and the school year is practically over. I have better things to worry about.

Am I over it? No. Will I be? Hopefully.

I'm at the mall right now, alone. Fallons is - of course - with Flora, again. Not surprised. We'd been dreaming of prom since we were little kids. Seeing all the girls and boys on television getting ready and doing their hair and makeup mesmerized us. Now that the time is finally here for us to enjoy it, it seems so underwhelming.

Fallon has been so distant from me and so oblivious to the fact that our friendship is falling apart, that she mentioned me copying her math homework on a Saturday. She literally forgot what day it was and just told me to copy it at school tomorrow. When tomorrow was last Sunday.

I'm not as excited as I should be. I should be running around the mall with my friends, trying on 600 different dresses and complaining about each and every one. We should be browsing through the makeup section of every store, putting expensive products in our cart that we know we won't buy. My mom should be on my ass about my date, wondering if he's good enough for me, but at the same time, be overwhelmed with joy over the fact that her little girl is growing up.

But, my mother is at work, ignoring the fact that i have prom. Ignoring the fact that I have a date - who I don't even like in a romantic way. My best friend, who I should be with right now, is, of course, out with her girlfriend. That leaves me alone in the mall. Browsing through countless stores, looking for a dress.

After what felt like an excruciating 3 hours of browsing, i find a dress that seems okay enough to wear. It's lilac and reaches my ankles. It has a cute pattern of little flowers littered all around it from top to bottom. I notice the lettuce type ruffle around the chest area and the bow in the front, and instantly fall in love with it.

But before I get too ahead of myself, I message Brandon, my date, to ask him about his suit.

I take my phone out of my purse, almost dropping it as I do so, and unlock it. Of course, no messages from anyone.

Don't worry guys, i'm at the mall all alone but i haven't been kidnapped by some crazy man who wants to sell me into sex slavery!!!!

Exhaling a disappointed sigh, I text Brandon.

To Brandon Jennings : Hey Brandon, I'm at the mall right now and found a dress I really like for prom. Do you have a tie already or do you wanna match with my dress?