Danganronpa Zero

Chapter Twelve (part two)

"So, what are you going to do, sister? I think your best course of action right now is to gain another ally. And not just a regular ally - I'm a specialist's specialist! A pro at intelligence gathering!" Kamishiro-kun pulled out another piece of pastry - does his outfit really have the space to store that many? - but his hand suddenly stopped before it entered his mouth. "What the...? This is butter peanut bread! What a disappointment!" His shoulders drooped, dejected.

"Is butter peanut bread really a disappointment? It sounds delicious to me..."

"What are you saying, sister?! Peanuts and bread are the worst possible combination! It's like trying to eat miso and rice together!"

I think that comparison made it even harder for me to understand, but I just said "Yeah, of course!". I didn't think it worth the bother of fighting over, so I decided to let it slide.

"Aha, so you do understand! Here, you can have it." Having cheered up, Kamishiro-kun handed me the sticky butter peanut bread, then anxiously thrust his hand into his shirt again and pulled out a new pastry. "Yes! A Yamazaki Madeira Cake!" It seems he hit the jackpot this time. His cheeks puffed and a wide smile appeared on his face as he started chewing the bread. "Fo, fwha aa foo foin' foo foo?"

"...Um, what did you just say?"

Kamishiro-kun swallowed the bread in his mouth. "So, what are you going to do?" he said, his eyes turning scarily serious as he gave me a questioning look. "That is, I think your only option is to let me help you. As far as I can tell, you're the type of person who can't do anything properly by herself, and all you've achieved so far is just wandering around in confusion. When you have plumbing problems you call a professional plumber, and when you've gotten involved in the kind of trouble you're in right now, you need a professional like me. I am exactly the kind of person who can clear up this kind of incident. Right now... we fit together like male and female genitalia. You're a confused person in trouble, and I'm a person who can solve such problems. It's easy to tell what the next step should be, isn't it? It's even more obvious than ejaculation."

"W...Wait a second!", I stopped his speech, confused. "Hm? What's wrong?"

"Um... Didn't you break character a little bit just now?" "Not really," he answered nonchalantly.

"I guess... I was just imagining it, then..." I thought I heard him pepper his speech with some inappropriate phrases - but I must have just not been paying attention. I just heard him wrong. That must be it.

"So, have you decided what you're going to do yet? If you're just going to continue wandering around in confusion, your troubles are never going to get solved. I think your best course of action right now is to make the right decision and

let me handle things."

"My troubles..." At this point, I had to read my notebook again in order to put my thoughts in order. I had already forgotten what the exact nature of the trouble I was involved in was. But, the moment I read the explanation my heart started palpitating at an unusually violent pace.

I closed the notebook in panic.

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

It was unreasonable beyond unreason. It seems I've goten involved in an abnormal situation to top all abnormal situations. I am pretty sure I won't find a way to handle such a situation inside "Ryouko Otonashi's Memory Notebook", no matter how much I search.

I don't have enough data -

And I definitely don't have enough experience -

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!