Then_And_Now_CHAPTER05
"I'll be going to Seoul to reach my dreams." Yoongi whispered. I know that he must be nervous telling me that. But it's what I've expected. And I've already decided, I'm not his dream I am just his girlfriend.
Who am I to dictate him to stop reaching his dream? I composed myself. I wanna cry in front of him, I want him to pity me. But it sounds so desperate that I want to keep him by myself. I hate that.
I know I'm selfish, but can you blame me? I just don't want him to be expose, I just don't want him to meet new people, because I'm afraid that the spotlight of being an artist will take him away from me.
"Jisoo?" I was back to myself when he called my name and held both of hands. We're at the garden area of Seokjin's house. He said he wanted to talk to me about something, and that something is about him making music.
"I-I'm sorry I don't know what to say." I answered honestly.
"For now please understand me." his voice is begging, still clasping both of my hands. I can feel his hands getting sweater. He's indeed nervous.
"I am always, I understand you everytime Yoongi." I told him.
He sighed and slowly he let go of my hand. "No it's not understanding Jisoo, it's called hindering. You're hindering me from my dream." that was the first I head him tell me that. And it panged my chest. I feel like reality hit me. My brows furrowed, are we gonna argue?
"Why would you think I'm hindering you with your dreams?!" I can't help shout at him. He shook his head and lazily brush his hair frustratedly. He look at me with so much pain in his eyes.
"That's not what I meant. You misinterpret it." his voice was still calm, but I know his just controlling his true emotions.
"Well then that's not t my fault because I understand it that way! I'm not hindering you Yoongi, you can still achieve your dreams even if you're in Daegu or here in Gwacheon! You don't need to go to Seoul!" I told him. I keep pacing back and forth in front of him. He stood up and stopped e from walking, he held both of my arms to keep me stand in firm.
"Better offer is not in Daegu nor here in Gwacheon. It's in Seoul." he caress both of my cheeks and put the strands of my hair at the back of my ear. "I'll give you time to think about it Jisoo, but I'm leaving in Friday." what? Friday? That's not enough for me! Today is Tuesday. And he only gives me 2 days to decide! That's not fair!
I looked at him with tension building inside my system. "That's too soon!"You planned this, right?"
"No! Of course not! The agency called me last night!" I was taken aback when he shouted back but I didn't show it to him, I don't want to show that I was scared of him.
"So you auditioned?!" I asked with my Furious voice. The Kims probably heard our loud voices from the mansion.
"Yes I did! So what? Now tell me that's not called hindering!"
I shut my mouth frustratedly. I admit I'm defeated with this argument. There's no point on stopping him now that his decision is final.
"Then you shouldn't have ask my permission about you going to Seoul. Because you've decided already." I'm on the verge of crying. But I am proud to myself for not stuttering.
"I'm asking your permission because I respect you and this relationship. I hope you do too." he answered back then he walked out leaving me stunned in my place.
