You're My Star

Chapter 14: An apology or an ending

A/N: Connected to Chapter 34 of The hideout I need.

The next week and a half were insane. Woo-bin's mental and physical health was swinging like a seesaw from everything that was going on.

Initially, Woo-bin made himself physically ill. So ill that he was practically on bed rest for three days after he posted the video. Whenever he opened his eyes he had a massive headache because there was too much light everywhere. After day one, he turned off his phone completely because he hated getting notifications from his class chat — all they were talking about was Hyeong-jun. How they couldn't believe someone "like that" was allowed to be at the same school as them. How disgusting they found him. One guy even privately texted Woo-bin with a thumbs up, saying that he thought Woo-bin did the right thing.

The right thing.

Sure, Woo-bin occasionally felt that too. If it wasn't Hyeong-jun, it was Min-hee. Min-hee would be subject to being the number one conversational topic at school, people bathing in the gossip of his sexuality like they were talking about the weather. 

But just because it might've been the right thing in his mind, didn't mean he felt good about it in the slightest. When Woo-bin finally came to school on Friday, still feeling sick, it was also Hyeong-jun's first day back.

Woo-bin had never thrown up at school before. It was never anything he imagined he'd experience, kneeling in front of the toilet, on the old cracked tiles that desperately needed a wash. But as he saw Hyeong-jun get grabbed and slammed up against the locker, he had an incredibly queasy feeling in his stomach and throat that made him want to retch. What finally made him speed towards the toilets was when someone called Hyeong-jun multiple slurs. The same slurs he got called when he was sixteen. His throat was burning. It hurt.

The worst part was looking at Hyeong-jun. He wasn't fighting back. Woo-bin could recognize his gaze so well. He was in a haze. He was working on autopilot, hoping that if he ignored the problem, it would disappear.

Woo-bin could not handle this anymore. He was the reason that Hyeong-jun was outed. He stood in front of the sink to wash his hands, aggressively scrubbing at his skin with the soap. He couldn't even allow himself to feel sorry for himself because of Hyeong-jun and what he was going through. Maybe if he washed his hands thoroughly enough, he'd feel cleaner.

Things started to calm down a week after the post. However, Seong-min had gotten into countless fights. He had seemingly been confronting anybody he overheard badmouthing Hyeong-jun — which was honorable but resulted in Seong-min getting easily injured. He still hadn't spoken a word to Woo-bin. 

But nothing could've prepared anyone at the school for what was about to happen. The first day in a long time that Hyeong-jun came to school alongside Kim Tae-young, was also the day that the entire school went into an uproar. The day Tae-young stood up to a bunch of people picking on Hyeong-jun, his boyfriend.

The fact that Hyeong-jun and Tae-young were dating caused everyone to either be more respectful or double down on their homophobia. The school went straight down the middle on that subject. But people were apologizing. Random kids were apologizing to Hyeong-jun as Woo-bin just stood in the crowd, not knowing what to do. If they could apologize, why couldn't he?

Probably because he felt so dirty. How could he ever allow himself the luxury to apologize? What was he even going to say? Hyeong-jun deserved so much more than some lousy apology. 

Woo-bin spent the day thinking. He'd been forced out of the closet once and it led to the worst period of his life. And this time he pushed someone else out to protect his own interests. He could never pull him back in — but what if he jumped out as well?