Haunted

Twenty Six

Even though we took the time to make sure he felt comfy and secure on the couch... Casper ended up following me into the kitchen anyway... His head seemingly confused by the comfort of being able to actually see me clearly brings him... But it's likely a result of him feeling a bit more in-tune with our bond from sleeping for hours in my arms... The closeness that we had achieved in those precious moments more important than I think either of us really understands how to digest... For me at least... it's just the set of emotions that I'm rolling through by simply being allowed to finally be here for him are so big and so intense that I'm struggling to break them down into bites I can actually swallow without crying and possibly making Cassie feel self-concious...

It's easier to feel a bit more calm though when I remind myself that right now Casper needs me to just take things slow and allow him to adjust to finally being cared for by more than just Kore... I don't need to process everything today... I can take as much time as I need to, just like Cassie can take as much time as he needs to...

We both deserve a heavy healthy dose of patience and a gentle learning curve... Because there is more damage here at play than is actually fair for my sweet soulmate... The burdens that he's walked through time for so long carrying have driven him into the ground... And it's going to take a while, even with my help, for him to pick himself up and dust himself off so he can start to smile more... And feel lighter...

It's important that I keep that in mind... So as I set the bowl of ice cream in front of my Cutie where he's sitting at the counter before I turn to dump the rest of the nuggets onto a fresh sheet pan I take a second before shoving them in the oven to let myself take a breath... And that breath is enough to help steady my nerves.

...

Casper

...

"Are you alright?" Seeing Liam pause before opening the oven catches my attention... The way he looks up towards the ceiling for a second before dropping his shoulders seeming a bit strange...

The action makes my heart drop from where it was being obnoxious pounding up in my throat over how I found myself when I woke up from my nap to deep down into my stomach... The hollow feeling that expands from it making me feel colder than the ice cream starting to get soft in front of me...

"I'm fine, Beautiful... I was just thinking for a moment... Are you alright?" His voice is so gentle when he answers me and finally turns around after putting the tray of nuggets in the oven... His eyes looking so strange to me for a moment before I realize it's because they're swimming with unshed tears...
Ones I think he might not want to be acknowledged with how he isn't letting them fall and the way he's chosen not to bring up whatever is wrong...

I... I don't know how to ask him more directly about it... But I also cannot say if it's something I've done or said thats upset him... Maybe following him in here was the wrong move?

I just...  I hadn't wanted to be alone... And the thought didn't strike me until after he had already made it in here...

There wasn't a way that I would have known that he was asking for a bit of space... But I suppose maybe I should have just listened to his instructions and stayed on the couch... I should have listened better...

...

Liam

...

When I had answered Cassie, I had done it without thinking... The only thing that had come to mind was sparing him the tiny bit of worry that I felt may crop up if he realizes that my heart is breaking over how much healing needs to be done... And how broken he is... The grief in my chest over the damage thats been forced upon him so overwhelming no matter how much I try and keep it pushed down away from my surface...

But I'm not sure my effort actually has the intended effect... The strange way Cassie drops his eyes and starts to curl in on himself... His hands withdrawing from his bowl of ice cream with a sadness that hurts my soul... "Cassie? Baby, What's wrong?"

My question seems to startle him, a seed of guilt taking root in my stomach when he jumps and looks at me as if I've snapped my fingers in front of his face instead of just asking him a question...

"I... Did I upset you? Is that why you look sad? I'm sorry, Liam... If you don't want to stay anymore... You don't have to..." The way my mate speaks so sullenly takes that tiny seed of guilt and makes it grow into something threatening to consume me, urging me to leave my place leaning against the counter next to the stove so that I can go on the other side of the counter where my Cassie is and pull him into my arms... The embrace a surprise to us both, but also welcomed by both of us... Cassie leaning into me immediately... His hands shaking just slightly when he lifts his arms to hug me back... His cling so tight that I know this was the right move...

A long tight hug is exactly the perfect way to get the message across and back up my words when I finally manage to speak, "You didn't upset me, Cassie... Not at all. And you need to know that if I ever feel upset or have an issue I'll come and talk to you about it calmly... I won't be passive-aggressive about it... And you won't have to worry about me trying to hide it... Okay? I have no trouble communicating... Alright? And I promise to communicate as much as possible."

At first, he says nothing, stiffening under my touch for a few seconds as he digests my words... But his next line of questioning should have been more than expected on my part, "S-So... Does that mean you'll tell me what's wrong?"