Haunted

Twenty Seven

Liam

...

It's hard not to furrow my eyebrows at Casper... His lone of questioning not making much sense to me... Other than being worried about him and thinking of how we should move forward... Nothing is upsetting me.

I'm the happiest I've been in a long time, despite the undertone of very appropriate sadness that lingers in the air around us here in this house... The big house... That im wondering if he bought because he moved here thinking his family would be more welcoming... That big dining room looking a little dusty when he started into it earlier.

"Nothing is wrong, per se, Baby, I'm just sad with you... And thinking about what I can do to make sure you feel loved and safe with me." anyone else maybe would have just given locations and tried to convince him nothing was wrong...

But we both know that that isn't the case. There are a lot of things wrong and it's going to take a very long time to fix them, and that's only if they can be fixed. I know that some of Cas's issues will need to go unfixed... That some scars run too deep for fixing... The most we can hope for is healthy coping skills for both of us... And that's okay.

"Y-You... You want me to feel safe?"

...

Casper

...

Even I can hear the heartbreak in my own words... My voice trembling as my vision goes hazy with tears that cannot consider leaving themselves unshed...

No one had thought of my safety in a very long time... Just about how they keep themselves safe from me... Even when knowing that my magic has been stable and under control for centuries now...

I haven't felt safe since I was a child before the war started... And even then, with so much tension between all of the different species of supernatural beings... Safe was a very loose term.

There was no way of Liam knowing that though... No way he would know that no one had thought me worth keeping safe... That everyone assumed my blanket of immortality was sufficient... That it didn't matter if I got hurt... Or maimed... Because as long as I survived... That's what was important, right?

Well, that, and that I stay away from everyone.

Liam hardly hesitates as so many strange emotions crash through my body as the sobs I had thought were finished for the day renew themselves even stronger than ever before... His arms so anything as they wrap around me, his reassurances lost to me as my crying drowns out his voice... His wonderful voice that is likely telling me that he's here... And to let the tears flow... That he isn't going anywhere... And that yes... He does want me to feel safe because he's amazing... And sweet... And a gentleman...

And I am a fool who pushed him so hard to stop pursuing me because I was afraid of him...

I was afraid of this...

Of feeling...

Feeling grief...

Because even if he does manage to make me feel safe... And warm... And cared for...

All of those feelings will vanish when I eventually out age him...

He wants to do so much for me... But it'll all be for nothing... Because he won't get to share the eventual result for very long... Not compared to my own lifespan.

And I am not sure he even is aware of that fact himself...

Which only serves to make things taste even more bittersweet.