Haunted

Thirteen

It takes me a minute to build up the nerve to climb the stairs, and an even longer moment to find the courage to knock as gently as possible on the door that I had been told was to his bedroom... The room he hasn't left since they brought him home the other night. 

I don't get any kind of answer... But I didn't really expect one. According to Kore, my beautifully broken mate has been practically catatonic for days...

I don't know what I expected to find when I push the door open as quietly as I can manage... Maybe what I think a black and white snapshot of an outdated bedroom would be... But certainly not what I find... 

Wall to wall windows let the natural sunlight stream in in giant chunks bathing the walls painted a soothing tan in brightness turning it nearly gold with its radiance, the heavy furniture all stained dark and highly polished, the shine making it hard to notice the age of the antiquated pieces until you notice the actual design of the claw-footed dresser and the way the wooden part of the vanity is carved with a roughness that only comes with old-timey hand-craftsmanship... But I can't focus on any of that the moment I realize that the lump in the lightly colored blankets is actually none other than Casper himself hiding from the world that's treated him so cruelly up until now. 

The closer I get to the bed the harder the melted lump that is my mate shivers and shudders, but it isn't until I'm close enough to brush the comforter away from his face do I realize the reason behind his quaking. 

He's crying so hard he can't breathe enough to make noise...

...

Casper

...

It hadn't taken me long to pick up on the one voice I had hoped to never hear again after how badly I know I hurt him by walking away... It's also the voice that I had wanted the most badly to show up... 

Out of my own control, the cravings for him come at night, the memory of the way his hold had comforted me so much on his front porch swing plaguing me every time I close my eyes... The warmth of his arm around my waist when he had kissed my tears away the only thing keeping me from completely drowning this time. 

Until I hear his hesitant knock on my door I manage to convince myself that it's just a cruel hallucination that my mind has made up to further the punishment of my soul... But as he lets himself in I know that its Liam himself here in person to rub salt into my wounds. 

My sobs crash into me like waves, my grief and guilt determined to swallow me whole as I struggle to see any kind of light at the end of my long long tunnel. I can't catch my breath...

I can't get a grip just long enough to pull myself together, unable to even ask him just to leave... To run and never look back instead of tormenting me with the way he smells and how nice he is... Why can't he just leave me alone?

I'm not even sure that there are any tears falling out of my eyes as I heave and choke on the dreadful thickening of my throat as the shield of my comforter is stripped away from my face revealing me to the one person I absolutely would rather hide from at the moment, his face stunned when I manage to open my eyes between forced gasps. 

...

Liam

...

I have to pause in shock over the sight of my mate red in the face, bawling his eyes out unable to breathe as his body threatens to fall apart with the force of the shudders ripping themselves down his spine...

But his face deepening to a shade that resembles purple more than it does just a dark flush has me finding myself kicking my boots off and crowding him until he lets me climb into bed with him, his flailing over the matter almost making it impossible to pull him against my chest in the tightest hug I can manage. 

One of my hands finds his unkempt hair and guides his face to my shoulder while I cradle him leaning back against the headboard, my other hand giving quick passes up and down his back in an attempt to get him to take a breath for me and calm down just a touch. 

I shouldn't have waited so long to come over...

Kore should have told me just how bad it is...

He told me it was bad...

But he didn't tell me it was this bad. 

Casper barely hesitates as he curls into me, his gasps for breath becoming more frequent, but bringing with them sobs that are so vocal and full of pain that my soul breaks just having to hear them, and completely shatters knowing that on his end it's so much worse than I can even begin to really understand. 

All I know is that "I've got you, Babe... I'm here and no one is ever hurting you again, understand me? No one." 

My words seem to only make him cry even harder, his shivers turning into forceful wiggles as he tries to pull himself away from me. 

I don't let him go, instead pulling him even closer to get him to understand that there will be no more pushing me away.

My love is here and im only interested in providing comfort and the stability he so badly needs after such a long and pain-filled life, but my efforts to keep him cuddled close ends as his words freeze me in place with the gut-wrenching moans that surround them. 

"No...No, Liam... You don't un-understand! You don't understand!" An accent I didn't know he had makes itself present as his words seep into my flesh punctuated by sounds I've only ever heard at funerals seep into my shoulder as he gives up on fighting me and instead chooses to cling, his fists balling themselves up in my shirt, "I'm-I'm not safe for you... For anyone... I-I h-hurt so m-many p-p-p-p-people...I-"

"Enough!"