My mask of happiness.

Chapter eight.

I stood over her bed crying, holding her hand softly. I wished she would wake up, I've missed her so much and I need her to pull through this.
I see her eyes begin to flutter and start to open, "Come on." I encouraged while holding on to her hand harder. She opened her eyes and looked around confused, she must be worried waking up in an hospital bed with someone she hasn't seen for months. 

"Eva? Can you hear me? You're in hospital." I whispered in a reassuring voice while squeezing her hand gently. I could see the shocked look in her eyes when she realised who was by her bedside and I gave a smile hoping she wouldn't be made at me. I sighed and leaned in towards her and hugged her tightly not wanting to let her go at all. She grabbed me back and squeezed back while sobbing into me. "It's OK Eva, I'm here now, I'm so sorry I left you on your own." 

"I have missed you so much, but you left me in the dark knowing full well that I was terrified of it. I felt like I didn't have another choice but to end everything." She sobbed and looked down like she was ashamed. How did I leave her without realising how bad she was, I thought she would be fine, I wasn't going far and I was only a call away. I knew she needed me more than ever now and I wasn't going to leave her side. 

"Come here." I grabbed her and hugged her again. "I'm not going anywhere now, I didn't know you was this bad, what happened with Casper?" 

"He's gone, he was cheating on me for months, he loves someone else." I couldn't believe what she was telling me, suddenly anger raised inside of me, how could he do this to her after everything?Questions kept going round and round in my head and thinking of how alone she must of been. I didn't want to leave her alone for another second. I snapped back out of my wondering thoughts and back to Eva to see the sadness deep inside her eyes. 

"Isn't it funny to think how one second we are a living, breathing human, and then the next we're not. There's nothing left apart from an empty body and the memories of you that people cling onto." She sighed and looked at me, "Why am I still alive?Why couldn't they leave me to die."