My mask of happiness.

Chapter four

"Well?Tell me you excuse then, think you can ignore me for weeks and then come back like nothing happened?" I demanded an answer.

"Please just listen without interrupting or getting angry?" He looked worried. He was looking down and playing with his thumbs, acting like a little child who is about to get told off. I started to get this horrible feeling in my stomach, I was beginning to get nervous because worry was just written all over his face.

"I left you and didn't speak to you because, well, I have someone else, I have been seeing her awhile now...While we were together, I am really sorry Eva. I couldn't tell you before, I didn't want to hurt you. After everything you've gone through, you deserve someone better. I really am sorry but I love her." He explained.

I couldn't say anything, all these thoughts started going round my head. How could he, after everything!

"For how long?I mean how long have you been seeing her behind my back?!" I managed out.

"A few months." He replied quietly, still looking down like a dog with his tail between his legs.

"What?How could you?!How could you tell me you loved me, all them things you said to me, they didn't mean anything?" I shouted out at him. "Just a bunch of fucking lies?!" I added on, screaming at him. Tears started pouring down both of my cheeks uncontrollably. My heart was just broken into a million pieces by the most important person in the world. He stood there silently, not a single word came out of his mouth. A few minutes later, he moved slowly towards me, and put his arms around me.

"Don't you dare hug me! Don't you dare, get out, just get out!" I bawled at him, with more tears coming out, I couldn't stop crying, I pushed him out of the door. "I'm sorry." He said as I slammed the door shut in his face.

I sank to the floor and tried to stop crying so I could breathe properly but I couldn't. I got up and went to the medication cupboard and pulled out my tablets for when I have panic attacks. I went over to the sink and filled my mouth with water and swallowed the tablet.

I wished this was all a dream, but I knew it wasn't, it was just my life, the never ending nightmare. Why couldn't I have all the good luck?the good life? I asked myself. I started to calm down and decided to sent Casper a text, I wanted answers. Surely I deserved to know?

To Casper via text message.

I deserve to know who it was Casper, at least have the decency to tell me that if anything. How could you do this?

To Eva via text message.

No one you know, I know, I guess you just wasn't enough.

Big mistake texting him. Now I felt worse.

I went back into my room and shut down my laptop, turned my lights off and slumped myself into bed.