My mask of happiness.

Chapter three

Bring. Bring. Bring. "You are in a queue, please wait." Bring. Bring.

I waited patiently for them to pick up. I kept thinking shall I just hang up, panicing and thinking the worst was going to happen. I went to hang up but then heard a voice at the other end of the phone. 

"Hello, St Johns doctors reception, how can I help you?"

A few seconds of silence went by, 'come on Eva, deep breath.' I thought to myself.

"Urm, hi, urm, can I book an appointment with my doctor please?" I stuttered out eventually.

"Doctors name?and what is it for?" She questioned confidently.

"Dr Phillips and I would rather discuss it only with my doctor." I replied quietly, feeling ashamed for some reason, even though I know a lot of people suffer from the same as me, and they get help from doctors.

"Of course, I will put it down as general check up. Is next week, Tuesday, at 4:50pm fine?" 

"Yeah, thank you. Bye." I answered quickly, just wanting to end the conversation.

I hung up the phone and jotted the date and time down in a notebook. I sighed with relief, and went to get my laptop. I decided to watch a movie to try distract me from feeling sick in my stomach with the though of next week. I hated doctors already, now I had to go tell one about my self-harm, my suicidal thoughts and low moods. I knew he would probably say I had depression, but I was still scared and nervous to actually say my feelings out loud to someone. I couldn't help but think he would judge me.

I opened my laptop up, logged into my Netflix account and searched in Netflix 'Zombie Land'. I'v always enjoyed that film, even though it's old, and I have watched it a million times. I got up and walked into the kitchen to start stuffing my face with the massive bag of Walkers, cheese and onion crisps that have been waiting for me all day but a knock on the door interrupted me. So I turned round and walked towards the front door instead. I opened it up and to my surprise, it was Casper. My ex boyfriend.

"What do you want?" I snarled at him, giving him a nasty glare.

"I'm so sorry Eva, please let me explain." Casper pleaded. 

I would of never said no to Casper before, but I had to stand my ground, I couldn't let him walk out of my life and back in when it suited him. I looked into his light blue eyes and remembered why I fell in love with him in the first place, he was gorgeous, my perfect other half. I couldn't help but want to know what excuse he had to use this time. 'Why do I let these things happen?' I questioned in my head as I opened the door wider and gestured with my hand for him to come in.

"Thanks Eva" Casper said as he walked through my door.