My mask of happiness.

Chapter five

I sat nervously in the waiting room. I crossed my legs and flipped through the same gossip magazine for the fourth time. If I didn't give myself something to do then I would end up leaving. I hate the smell of the doctors, it had that smell that made you feel ill by just smelling it. I snatched glances at the other patients in the waiting room, wondering why each person was here. Some were obvious, they were coughing and sneezing and looked ill. Then me, I looked fine, I looked normal. I wondered if I was wrong going to the doctors and threw the magazine back down on the coffee table in front of me, grabbed my bag and got up to leave.

"Eva?" Dr Phillips called. 

I span back round and walked towards him.

"That's me." I said as I got closer.

"Follow me." He said as he started walking through the hallway.

I follow him in to one of the rooms, I was regretting coming here now and was starting to get really nervous. What was I meant to say without it feeling awkward?This was harder than it looked. 

"Take a seat" He suggested as he pointed to the chair. I sat down and put my bag on the floor, I immediately started playing with my fingers. 

"So, what's the problem?" He questioned in a sensitive voice.

"Well, urm, I have been feeling pretty low lately, well for a long time actually and I thought maybe-" I stared at him while he looked back at me with a concerned face.

"Right, could you answer these questions please?" He pointed at the screen and went through each one and asked me to pick the option which fitted with me. I answered each one honestly and then waited for his reply.

"Yeah, it looks like you have moderate depression." He told me in a calm, comforting voice.

I nodded and looked down at the floor. I wasn't surprised at this result. 

He went through and explained all the options I had, and referred me to CAMHS. Which stands for 'Children and adolescences mental health services.' I also got a counsellor. He also explained more about depression and how it makes you feel, and that it mostly starts from a trigger, like a trauma in life that has caused this depression to come. We agreed on another appointment for next week, and I said goodbye and left.