Donald Trump x Mike Pence

w h i t e

"Steve... how did you get out?"

"Marjorie Taylor Greene chanted the incantation in her office, which by the way, smells like raccoon shit. I thought I was back in the Oval Office until I saw her perfect, pure, white skin. Unblemished." Steve looked lovingly at Mike's hair that was held in place by seven layers of hair spray. "Like you."

"White is the best way to be," Mike agreed. 

"And Italians are white," Rudy added.

"Of course," Steve said, his gaze never leaving Mike.

It was no secret that Steve Bannon was a white culture enthusiast, but nobody besides Mike understood how much he liked whiteness. Although Steve believed the perfect people were Nordic - blonde, fair-skinned with blue eyes - he couldn't help but be infatuated with someone who looked like Mike Pence. His snow white hair and pale skin was too much to handle.

"She knows the incantation, " Rudy hissed, breaking the silence, "We need to have her killed."

Steve finally turned his attention away from Mike. "No, not yet. She could be of use to us."

While the hunchback of the umbrella corporation and plastic David Duke argued, Mike felt a buzz in his pocket. He took his phone out and looked at the notification on the lock screen. 

Donut Daddy <3: Where r u?? :( meet me at mar a lago 

Mike unlocked his phone and sent a reply back: Wtf do u want didnt i say it was over????

Donut Daddy <3: pls its important i can save us

Donut Daddy <3: ik ur trying 2 get steve but my plan is better pls com

Mike slipped his phone back into his pocket and tried to hold back the tears. He couldn't believe it, Donalf wanted to see him again... even after all the shit he screeched into the phone last time they spoke. Usually he would try to execute anyone who talked shit, so Mike knew this was love. He fished another thing out of his pocket: a starburst candy. After the whole fiasco with Angela Merkel, Donald took back one of the starbursts he threw at her. He gave them to Mike and told him to use it anytime he needed to find him. Although he didn't understand, he still kept that starburst in his pocket. He started to peel the wrapper off the candy, but it had melted and solidified so much that the paper was stuck. 

He brought it to his face, catching a whiff of old sweat mixed with the scent of strawberry, before popping the candy into his mouth.

When Steve and the crypt keeper finally stopped yelling at each other to notice what the fuck was going on, they found no sign of their Jesus-loving white friend.

Rudy hissed so hard he almost coughed up black tar and Steve collapsed to the pavement, with trash bags filled with heroin needles breaking his fall. 

To be continued... maybe