Donald Trump x Mike Pence

I'm on a highway to hell

Trump exited the great gates of Putin's citadel and waddled to Air Force One. Mike thought he had a limp which only made him more depressed. Putin must have totally destroyed his ass in more ways than one. And he was supposed to do that after this stupid trip. Suddenly, a wave of depressing sadness hit him like a ton of bricks. He thought of listening to Good Charloot and MCR on the flight back, but even that would not numb the pain. As his prince stepped onto the stairs, Mike shed a tear. He would normally have gotten a tingling in his dangling at the sight of his sexy daddy waddling to him, but he did not this time. All he could think of what how he betrayed him. How he slept with that disgusting diet dictator Vladimir Putin. How was he supposed to forgive him? Who could? Trump walked up the stairs and fell down like Joe Biden would two months in the future. Air Force one shook under his lard ass like he and Mikes's bed had the night before. Mike longed for these times, but knew they would never come again. 

Donny crossed the line. "Good news, Putin said he would help me steal ... I mean win back the election." 

Rudy hissed. "So we have a chancssssse?" His forked tongue flickered between the gap in his dentures.

"Our chance is huge, like Chris Christie. And I really mean it, Chris Christie is massive," Trump said. "Very huge man, like Vladimir. By the way, I was the top. I don't bottom, too gay. Also my dong dangles down to my knees, contrary to what that bitch Stormy Daniels said."

"Is it worth burning in hell?" asked Margorine as she steeped form the airplane bathroom with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her heel. 

"I won't burn there," said Donald. "I am a saint and very very rich. I am sexy, too. Only the Left and Black Lives Matter liberal media go there." 

"No," Marjorie waved a finger in Donny's face, "hell is also for homosexuals and trans gingerbreads. The Bible says it."

"Only people who actually like it, and I totally didn't like it," Donald lied.

Mike could feel the fury boiling in his veins. How dare he? After pleasuring Vlad? After he and Mike's four-year love affair? Did he really think what they did was sinful? It never felt sinful to him. He clenched his fist, he could bare it no longer. He popped open Donald's computer and joined the VC in his discord server. All the slimy homophobes, racists, and Proud Boys (even though most of them used they/them pronouns) entered the VC. Once all the prominent members were in, Mike confronted his soon to be former lover. 

"You son of a bitch," he grunted. Trump turned around, his fat rippled as he squinted at Mike. He opened his big, fat, ugly, racist mouth to speak, but for once, words did not form. He knew he fucked up. Mike raised his fist and punched him for the first time ever in a non-sexual way. His fist was absorbed into Trump's being and entered the Backrooms momentarily before Trump collapsed to the ground.

"How dare you hit the bestest president in the world!" Marjorie Taylor Greene cried.

"'Bestest'?" Mike scoffed "BESTEST?! How could you think he's a sinner and say he's the 'bestest'? You stupid cow. Don't you know you have no chance of getting into his pants." 

Trump grasped Pence by the tie in a non-sexual way again. "You wouldn't dare Mike." 

"I can't believe you," he spat. "After four years together, you can't even admit it to your cronies?!"

"Admit what?" Rudy questioned, black goop beginning to drip down his face as he trembled in fear.

"Mikey, don't do this. It'll ruin everything." He trembled. This was the first time Trump had been scared (except for the times he was around "colored" people.) 

Mike smiled as fire lit up his eyes. "You've already ruined EVERYTHING Donald. Your political career is in shambles, you're gonna be impeached a second time by that cow Palosi, and most of all, you ruined US! I am breaking up with you!" 

Trump's beady eyes widened in shock as he simultaneously pissed and shit himself. There was a moment of silence before an agonizing screech erupted form the back of the plane. Marjorie Taylor Green burst into a ball of hellfire which burned with the intensity of a thousand suns before disappearing into nothingness. Steve Bannon Thanosed away and his ashes blew into the nose of Rudy Guliani. 

"Y.... You're a homosexual?" Rudy's black dye was beginning to seep from the corners of his eyes."This is not true, it is lies!" Trump sobbed from the floor of the plane.

Rudy turned in silence and began to walk away. "I loved you Donald, I really did. But I could never support such sinful behavior." With that, he turned to go, piss dripping down his pant leg and leaving a trail from the plane.

The Discord kittens began to leave the chat one by one and soon, only those who were secretly gay for Donald remained. They now knew they had a chance. Mike shut his laptop.

"How dare you betray me?" he wept, "I even let you touch my feet!"
Mike turned and left in silence. After he left, all that remained in Air Force One was Donald Trump sobbing in a puddle of piss, shit and the charred remains of his most trusted goons. For the first time ever, Donald J. Trump had nothing. Except for his money.

Written by my co-writer, Roger, and his friend Brown Gandalf.

Edited by me.

Driven to the psych ward by Brown Gandalf.