Donald Trump x Mike Pence

Of Mice and MAGA

Airforce 1 landed onto the nearest Chuck-E Cheese parking lot, careening into a bus full of children. Some of the children would have survived if the jet fuel didn't melt the crumpled metal that once was a school bus. 

The attendants lowered the steps down and Donald Trump waddled out following an obnoxiously loud belch. It was his way of asserting dominance over the burning children. Behind him came Rudy, whos hair dye was completely covering his face at this point. He looked like a racist caricature from when racism actually existed. Mike thought how lucky those fucking kids were that they didn't have to see his ugly ass face. Steve carried Margo or whatever her name was out of the place over his shoulder like a potato sack. A thorazine needle dropped from her ass and shattered again the asphalt. The infected needle gave everyone within a mile radius rabies and killed the remaining children. 

When they reached the front door, Donald yelled at Rudy to open it for him because he couldn't touch disgusting poor people germs. Rudy bowed and opened the door, only for Steve to spit on him for no reason. They were interrupted by a minimum-wage worker who was one bad day away from burning themselves alive in the kitchen. 

"Sir, you need to wear a mask," the worker said, deadpanned. 

Donald grabbed a handful of money from his pocket and threw it at them. It was monopoly money with BBQ sauce stains. "You can make an exception for the best president of the United States and his friends, right?"

The worked promptly drowned himself. The group moved on to a booth. 

Steve dropped Margorie on the dirty ass floor while the rest shoved their fat asses into the booth. Mike was right up against Donald's warm, rancid smelling body and his downstairs felt funny. It was the same feeling he felt when he watched football with his mother-wife, who he almost forgot about, to look straight. It could have been a sexy moment but Rudy was shoved up right next to him. The Chuck-E Cheese rat walked by and Mike felt something hard pressing up against his thigh. 

Donald folded his hands on the table. "How did you find me?"

"Master, we felt you changing locations and had to make sure you were alright," Rudy explained. 

Steve nodded. "Only to find you doing God's work and infiltrating the Jews."

"I know they have the space laser..." Donald sighed, "I have to tweet about it."

"It's... here..." Marjorie slurred from the greasy floor, "I can to tally feeel it."

Suddenly Donald collapsed, like the towers that Obama bin laden blew up. Mike started screaming and crying and shitting, while Steve began to chant an incantation to bring his obese friend back. Then he turned his head, face covered in slobber, and uttered the worst words that could ever leave his lips. Mike's heart stopped. It was the end. They were never going to save the United States and destroy the radical left.

"The radical left has silenced me. Those stupid pronouns in bio liberals took away the one thing that mattered to me. The only thing that can save us all. The very thing that could rally the troops on our side to do their patriotic duty. They suspended my Twitter account. Very sad!"

Mike could feel Rudy's boner deflate as the words seem to hit him. Like a flag pole during the so-called insurrection beating an America hating police officer. 

Trump slammed his face against the table and sobbed quietly. Steve Bannon finally died of lung cancer. Klan mom took her final breath. Rudy became one with a vat of crude oil. Mike melted after a long winter. 

As much as the author wanted to kill them off, she knew that their story couldn't be over. She was cursed to write the rest of this fanfiction until its conclusion. This became her fate on January 6th, when she got pissy and wrote the first chapter. She quickly revived her characters before pouring herself another shot of vodka. 

Donald continued to sob with his ugly face smashed against the table. Mike tried his best to comfort him with reassuring words. "Mr. President, it's not over," he said unconvincingly. 

Steve perked up. "You're right, Pence, we still have the space laser and loyal supporters like that family over in the corner." 

He pointed at a large family celebrating a kid's birthday, except it didn't look like much of a celebration. The adults were all yelling at each other and the birthday kid was crying. Several adults were wearing MAGA hats and dirty jeans with guns duct taped to them. They couldn't hear exactly what they were arguing about, but it ended with one of them heading to the play scape crying. 

Donald looked up to see what they were all looking at, but in his line of vision he saw a ball pit. It reminded him of better times during his four years of office. He had just come back from a rally with Mike Pence and they were talking about how many black people they kicked out of the rally for frowning while black. Donald was offended and he told security to get them out of there for stealing white people's wallets. He and Mike had a good laugh at that. They went into the nearest Chuck-E Cheese for pizza, which was unevenly sliced and slightly cold. After some talk about how much they disliked Muslims, it seemed to spark something. Horniness. 

They jumped into the ball pit and lost their gay virilities to each other for the first time. Then Mike got syphilis and died. Steve Bannon brought him back to life using black magic, but his skin turned the color of the inside of an onion permanently. He smelled like it too, attracted many a fly. 

Donny boy shoved a piece of misshapen pizza into his mouth. The grease dripped down his jowls as he chomped depressingly. Mike sulked in his chair. They've done it. The radical ANTIFA BLM left had stolen the election and there was nothing he or his Doughnut Daddy could do about it. Fucking radical communist snowflakes.

Wait a second. Mike shot up in his chair.

"Communists!" He exclaimed.

Trump narrowed his eyes.

"I think I know who could help us, my president."

Whatever, I don't care anymore. This will be continued...