filling in canon: sge oneshots

all you wanna do

"--I should never have let something like this happen to one of my boys, I have petitioned and petitioned the School Master to have those books removed--"

"It's alright, Professor, it didn't even work--" began Tedros, but Dovey shot him a withering look, opening her office door briskly. She'd towed him out of Surviving Fairy Tales and hustled him up to her office the second she'd arrived on scene, despite Tedros's many insistences that he was fine, and that Yuba had failed Sophie for trying it--

"No, Tedros, it is absolutely not alright. I don't know what you've been told in that wretched kingdom, or what Aleksander has been teaching in those godforsaken Chivalry lessons, but it's not alright. That spell was strong. Had it gone wrong-- and, brewed by first years, it almost certainly would have done-- it could have warped you permanently."

"I'm immu--"

"No, you are immune to all consumed love potions and most poisons, thanks to your father's obsession with mithridatism-- which is, by the way, the reason you go crying to Emma about your acne, and get cramps. Usually they do not start that ridiculous practice on Princes until they're sixteen, but like most things, your father rushed it because he was drinking himself to death. Who knows what taking small doses of poison frequently has done to your internal organs? Immunity. Bah. Do you get heartburn?"

"Um--"

Dovey didn't wait for a response;

"Well, anyway, the point is you would not have been immune to that." she snatched up the remains of the bullet and scoffed in derision. "The True Love Heart Hex. Glinda Gooch's recipe, is it? Typical. Would have worked, but wreaked havoc on your prefrontal cortex and your heart long-term, most likely you'd drop dead at 35--"

"Glinda Gooch?" snorted Tedros.

"I'm glad you think it's funny." snapped Dovey. Tedros sobered, thinking of how his forest group had burst out laughing.

Dovey bustled around her desk and started making furious notes.

"I shall call over Emma, Yuba and Leonora, and--"

Tedros sat forward desperately.

"Oh, no, Professor, please don't make a fuss--"

"If you think this is a fuss, Tedros, you are going to be severely dismayed by the formalities of your time on the throne."

"I only meant--"

Dovey's manner softened slightly.

"I know what you meant." She drew a sheet of parchment towards her and looked at him. "Can I have your account of events, please, dear?"

"Everyone saw--"

"Your account, Tedros."

"Right. Um. I don't know, Sophie was just... in a tree and shot it at me, but it bounced off the swan crest and hit her, and Beatrix picked it up and realised she'd used a love spell, everyone laughed..." he felt his expression sour, and he struggled to keep a neutral face. "Er. Yuba said the F was for failing to abide by the rules, no spells until after the Unlocking..." he trailed off, realising the implications there. His stomach sank. "...Professor?"

"Yes?"

"Would she be allowed to do that? Once we can use magic? Would it be within the rules?"

Dovey sighed deeply. Tedros got the impression she had been waiting for him to realise that.

"Love potions are strictly against the Good rules. But Sophie is a Never, and hence their set of rules is rather different to the Good ones--"