I'm Fine

Part 1: Chapter 15

More weeks went by and it is now spring break. School is almost over and I am done putting in my applications. There were only two schools that I applied to-one in-state and one out-of-state. The one in-state is about three to four hours away. If neither school doesn't offer me a full ride, or if I don't get accepted into them, I don't know what I will do. My grades are great, but I don't have anything else going for me. It's not like I'm an athlete; I don't play a sport and athletes are more likely to get a full ride. So, I have to rely on my grades only, and hopefully my transcript is good enough.

"Whatchu doing for spring break?" Briana asked. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Just working, I guess."

It's been super awkward between me and everyone. Even though we don't talk about what happened, I can tell that they have questions that they want answered. Yes, they know I been using, but they don't know to what extent. They also still don't know about Kennedy. They do know that me and my mom don't get along, but that's about it. It's just too much; I don't want them to know everything and the last thing I need is for them to judge me and pity me more than they already do. There are just some things I'd rather keep to myself.

"We should do something and maybe catch up."

"By catch up, you mean to watch me and micromanage everything I do," I frowned.

"No Asha, I just...we just worry about you, that's all. You still haven't been yourself lately and-"

"You wanna know if I'm still using." She just shrugged.

"Habits don't just go away over night. Ion want you to forget that you made a promise to quit."

I didn't say anything. Briana can be overbearing sometimes and it can get annoying when she tries to hold my promise over my head every chance she gets. She thinks that she's trying to hold me accountable, but really it only pisses me off.

"I can't do anything for spring break especially if it's somethin out of town," I said.

"Why not?"

"Because I have work." Amongst other things, of course.

"Well, can you just think about it?" She asked. I only nodded.

.....

Since it was the last day before break, I caught the school bus home. I called off of work today. I don't want to get Briana's hopes up since I already have plans for spring break, ones that don't involve being watched like a hawk by her and everybody else. I need to pack and get all my shit in order. Like I said, school is almost over and I need a plan. Dashawn offered to help me move, but I need to do it quietly. Once I got home, I started packing. Since I didn't have boxes, I used black heavy duty trash bags. I wasn't worried about being neat, I just threw stuff in bags. All of my clothes were together though.

I packed most of everything, but kept a few things to get me through for a few days, maybe longer. It took me the rest of the night. I was so occupied that I lost track of time, and it was rather late when I finally went to bed.

I got up early the next morning for work. It was the weekend and the house was quiet. I slipped out before my mom could see me and fix her mouth to say something that would ruin my day.

I wanted to speak to my boss, but he called out unexpectedly today. I couldn't remember the last time he ain't come to work. I asked around but nobody knew what was up. I made a mental note to check up on Earl later.

I took up extra hours for spring break since I don't have school, so I will be working 12-hour shifts starting today all the way through next week.