I'm Fine

Part 1: Chapter 9

After spending a couple of hours with Briana at the mall, she dropped me off at home. I told her to stop a few houses down from my own. When I saw both my mom and Kennedy's car in the driveway, my mood instantly turned sour. I couldn't even get all the way through the door before I heard my mom's voice.

"Kennedy tells me you went to some party behind my back." I was frozen.

"Get in here and close my gotdamn door." I closed the door and stood against it. She has never actually put her hands on me. She knows her verbal abuse hurts more than any beating she could ever give me, but I wouldn't take any chances.

"Kennedy also told me you been hoeing around at school."

"That's all hoes do," Kennedy said walking down the stairs and getting all up in my face. The only hoes in this damn house are right in front of me. Kennedy jumps from dick to dick while my mom's ex husband, Kennedy's dad, left her cause she cheated on him with my dad and got pregnant with me. The jokes on her, they both left.

"It takes one to know one," I seethed. My head whipped to side as Kennedy's palm connected with my cheek. I went to slap the shit out of her when my mom spoke up.

"Touch her and I'll make sure you quit that worthless job of yours. Better yet, I'll put you out on them streets and see how you like that. You think you have it hard now. Just wait until I take the little money you do make and turn you into my own personal bitch." My head whipped in her direction and my heart sank at her cruel words.

We not poor by any means. My mom got a good job and she get child support from my father. The only reason she would threaten my job and take my hard earned money is out of spite. Little does she know, I have a whole stash that I've been saving up. I wanted to call her out on her bluff because lord knows she needs my money just as much as I do. But, then I thought about the time when I was younger and Kennedy put her hands on me. I gave her a black eye and a busted lip. My mom got so mad she made me sleep in the backyard for nearly a week. My eyes watered and my fists clenched at the memory. I begged and begged for her to let me inside. I was so scared to be outside all alone, but she didn't care. She treated me like I was a dog. Shit, people don't even treat they dogs like that. This was back when we was living in some old dusty duplex down in the city.

She got up off the couch and walked up to me.

"You think your special? You just as worthless as your father. Ain't good for shit." She grabbed my chin.

"Don't play with me. I'll have your ass out here on them streets in a second." She let me go and sighed out in frustration.

"But mom."

"I don't want to hear it. Now go to your damn room, and don't let me hear about you sneaking behind my back again." I practically ran up the stairs. When I got to my room, I fell on the floor in a mess of tears. I crawled to my stash and drew two lines before snorting them both up. When I wasn't satisfied, I did another, and then another.

I found some old pain killers under the sink in my bathroom and swallowed a bunch. I just wanted something to ease my mind, something to make me numb. The tears stopped almost instantly and all that was left was shallow hiccups. I rested my head against the bed trying to convince myself that I was okay and that I would be okay.

After a while, I passed out on the floor.

.....

I woke up to my phone blaring in the background. I had a nasty headache, my vision was cloudy, and my whole body felt heavy. I couldn't even move. I winced when I realized I was laying on the hard floor in my bathroom. I panicked. What time was it? Before I could even get up, my stomach sank and I rolled over and puked all over the floor and myself.

I crawled over to the toilet and just sat on the floor. I cursed when I heard my phone ring again. I shook my head frantically as I felt like I was about to pass out again. I was scared to close my eyes as I might not be able to open them again. I staggered over to my phone and answered it, not checking who the caller was.

"I been calling you nonstop. Where are you?"

"Huh?" I mumbled grabbing my head.

"If you not here by second period, the school is gone call your mom."

"Asha? Are you there?" I was subconsciously tuning her out. I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying so I hung up and called Dashawn.

"Wassup," I heard his voice over the phone.

"I fucked up."

"Whatchu mean?!"

"There's a key under the pot on the porch." I hung up after that.

I stumbled back to the bathroom and turned the shower on cold. I got in fully clothed and fell down under the running water. After some time, I heard the front door slam open followed by multiple foot steps. I looked up at D who was spewing curses at me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as silent tears fell down my face. His eyes softened a bit at my words, but his anger was not gonna fade anytime soon.

.....

"What the fuck is yo problem mane? This is why I don't deal to lil ass kids," he said pacing the floor. I sat on my bed with a towel wrapped around me and my hair dripping down my back.

"Please don't be mad at me."

"Shut the fuck up!" I cringed at his loud booming voice. He has never yelled at me before.

"You mixing drugs and shit, something could've happened to you, and that would've been on me." He walked up to me and I shied away.

"Where is it?" He asked.

"W-What?"

"Yo stash. Where is it?" I didn't say anything.

"If you don't tell me where it is-"

"Please. I'm sorry, I won't do it again." He started looking through my shit.

"Dashawn please. I need it," I begged.

"You don't need shit but some help." He went into my closet and I got hella nervous. I got up off the bed and ran after him.

"Where is it?"

I tried pulling him out of my closet. He just pushed me off of him.

"Dashawn!" I yelled. He reached all the way in the back behind my clothes and searched across the wall until he pulled out a box. He opened it and was satisfied at what he found. I lost it when he carried my shit over to the toilet.

"You better fucking not," I warned. I went to run up on him when someone grabbed me from behind.

"You gone fight a nigga now," he scoffed before dumping everything down the toilet. It wasn't much, but it was still mine.

"Fuck you," I breathed heavily. "You know I'll just find somebody else that will sell to me."

"Asha, don't fuck with me," he said throwing my empty box on the floor.

"What you think would've happened if yo stupid ass mom caught you?" That's bullshit. Just like she left earlier this morning and didn't even care to know that I was still in the fucking house passed out on the damn floor, she wouldn't care if I was dead.

He stared at me for a few seconds. "We out. Call me when you calm down," he said before leaving out with the rest of his people.

I heard my phone ping with a notification.

Briana: Are you okay?

Briana: I stalled for you.

Briana: Wya?

I quickly got changed for school in a daze. The walk would give me some time to clear my head.