I'm Fine

Part 2: Chapter 25

Part 2 doesn't really mean anything. It's just the start of the five-year time jump.

I took a sip of the dark liquor, it's contents burning the back of my throat. I started on breakfast, taking sips throughout. Yes, it was too early to be drinking, but fuck it. A few sips won't change the course of my day. It was almost 8:30, so I went upstairs. I opened the door to my room and smiled. Royce was sprawled out in the middle of the bed. She was so small that I could barely see her, but the indents on the bed gave her away. I walked to the side of the bed and bent down to move her hair out of her face.

"Royce, it's time to get up." I shook her a bit and her eyes glazed over before opening. She immediately had a frown on her face and I cringed. The last thing I need is for her to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. But then when she saw me, a smile lit her small face.

"You ready to get up?"

"Yes mommy." She practically rolled out of the bed and went into the bathroom. She emptied her bladder first, then I watched her brush her teeth. She let me help her a little but got mad when I tried to completely take over.

Royce will be five soon and I'm not ready. She is growing up so fast. I just wish he was here to see it.

"Mommy I want to pick out my outfit," she said.

"Okay, go ahead."

I made up the bed and straightened up the room since I was already dressed. I waited for her to pick something. When she walked out of the closet, I eyed the clothes.

"Fine, mommy?"

"Yeah that's fine. Come on we have to leave soon and you need to eat."

After getting ready and doing her hair, we went downstairs to eat breakfast. Royce is such a clean eater, but she eats so slow it's ridiculous. By the time I finished my food, she was only on her third bite. Instead of pestering her, I decided to clean. I washed the dishes, cleaned off the stove, and she still wasn't done. I didn't even give her a lot.

"Royce we need to leave soon, like in five minutes. Are you done?" She looked down at her food and then back up at me.

"Do you want to take it with you?" She nodded.

"Okay, come on let's go." I locked up the house and we left.

"Today is your first day of preschool. Are you ready?" I looked at her through the rear view mirror. She just shrugged.

"I don't know what that means."

"I don't want to go," she mumbled.

"Why not? You can make friends and meet new teachers."

"I want you to teach me."

"I know but, it's time for a change. It won't hurt to try. Plus you might like it. Mommy can't be your only friend for the rest of your life."

Royce is so so smart and beautiful, but she just doesn't like people, if that makes sense. Like, she tolerates them, but if it's not me or her family, she doesn't care to be around anyone. I feel like she will grow out of it if I push her in the right direction, but this can't be healthy for her growth and development. Kids need to socialize.

I feel like it's just shyness, but when she's around me, she is so bubbly, loud, and confident.

We pulled up at the small preschool a few miles down the road. I helped Royce out of the car and she immediately clung to my leg. I would be lying if I said it wasn't the cutest shit, but right now I needed to be stern. I pried her hands off of my leg and just grabbed one of hers instead. We walked to the building hand in hand.