The Moment I Knew

Perfect

Giggling, I squirmed as Austin grabbed my waist spinning me around.

"Stop!" I squealed laughing and trying my best to get away from him.

"Come here!" He laughed trying his best to blockade the entrance of the bus and keep me from getting on.

"Austin!" I pouted making sure to do my best puppy dog eyes. Laughing he walked up to me pulling me into him. I leaned up and placed a kiss on his lips.

"What are you wearing?" He asked suddenly serious, his eyes flashing with a mixture of nostalgia, anger, and sadness.

"What do you mean?" I asked shaking my head wondering what had changed the moment so quickly.

"What perfume are you wearing?" He clarified meeting my eyes with an almost urgent energy.

"Viva la Juicy...by Juicy Couture...why?" I said slowly watching as his expression melted off his face and he took a moment to collect himself.

"I haven't smelled it in almost three years..." He laughed. "Gielle used to wear it all the time."

"I won't wear it anymore." I said shaking my head suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"No! Babe, I didn't mean it like that. If you like it, and you want to wear it by all means, wear it! I'm not going to stop you because of my ex." He said leaning down and kissing me. Smiling, he took my hand and led the way onto the bus.

I made a mental note never to wear the perfume again; the last thing I wanted to be doing was reminding him of Gielle every day.

It was then that I realized, as we sank down into the couch cushions of the front lounge, Austin's arm around my shoulders keeping me as close to his body as possible as he giggled to Tino's story, how little I really knew about Gielle and Austin's past relationship. There had to have been something there between them, you don't just run out and marry anyone.

The guys went to play their set that night and I took it upon myself to clean up the bus as usual. I did the dishes, wiped all the surfaces down, and put everything in its rightful place. Then I sat down at the table with my laptop and prayed the WIFI would work.

Typing "Austin Carlile and Gielle" into Google brought up her tumblr page. Using her archive, I went back and read through her posts about him, eventually coming across his very own tumblr page. They had seemed so in love and were so incredibly adorable together. It broke my heart to know how their story ended.

Footsteps broke my concentration and I looked up to see Austin's smiling sweaty face.

"Hi," I said shutting my laptop and returning the kiss he placed on my lips.

"Did you clean?" He asked wiping his face on his shirt and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Yeah." I laughed looking around at my handy work.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower and then you wanna watch a movie with me?"

"Sure," I said smiling. "You're not going out?"

"No, I really need to rest." He admitted grabbing a towel, kissing me one last time, before heading for
the shower.

I put my laptop away and got comfy in the back lounge while I waited for him. There had been a constant battle in my head for almost a month now. Every day the temptation to use was becoming greater and greater. Being out on tour was the only thing keeping the demons at bay. I feared for when I got home what would happen. That was only a few short days away.

"Ugh, I feel better!" Austin was smiling in the doorway, wearing nothing but his undies. He shut the door of the back lounge behind him and made his way over to the couch to get comfortable with me.
Entangling his legs with mine and making sure we were as close as physically possible, Austin pressed play on the remote and the movie started.

"You put Star Wars in!" He exclaimed excitedly. I didn't have the heart to tell him he had left it in there a few nights ago. "I don't think I tell you enough how much I love you."

I turned so I could look at him. "What brought that on?" I asked.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Sometimes I just think of you and it just hits me how much I love you.
It's weird because our relationship has been like nothing I've ever experienced...but I love you Raegan. So much. You're so beautiful and caring and I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my side at this point in my life."

"Well, you don't have to be all adorable." I said feeling the blush on my cheeks.

"I just wish my mom could meet you." He sighed, happily playing with my hair. "She would have loved you."

Earlier that night I had been wondering if there was a possibility he still had feelings for his ex-wife.
Reading the posts on tumblr and knowing the pain she had caused him, I could see how it would have been hard to get over. But as he leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips, I knew what he told me was the truth. It was exactly how he was feeling. He was so genuine and such an amazing person, it wasn't hard for me to see why girls everywhere fell for him so easily and hard. He as close to perfect as a person could get, and he was mine.

And I suddenly found myself praying I didn't fuck it up.