99 Jump Street (A Brooklyn Nine-Nine Fanfiction)

Chapter 9

Jake checked his Mapquest directions and compared them to the ones he pulled up on his phone. They both said this was the right house, but...it couldn't be, right? This house was way too nice for a teacher's salary. And what kind of single woman buys a pimped-out three-story colonial all for herself? It just didn't make sense.

Jake decided to give it a shot and trust the directions. He walked up to the door and knocked anxiously, suddenly filled with the overwhelming desire to see Lisa.

"Woah," Jake breathed as soon as the door opened. "...You're not Lisa..."

The woman standing in front of him was absolutely, strikingly beautiful. She had shiny black hair, an incredible figure, and assets that the Kardashians could only dream of. Jake couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

"...No, I'm not Lisa," the girl said with a sexy smile. "Thanks for noticing."

"...Definitely not Lisa," Jake repeated, his attempt to stay cool failing miserably.

"Nope, just her sister," the girl said. "I'm Rachel."

"And I'm...uh...Jake?"

"Are you sure?" She said skeptically, raising an eyebrow. "Because you don't sound so sure."

"No, no, I'm sure," Jake said, recovering quickly. "I'm sorry. It's just...it's been a really long week..."

"-Say no more, Jake. I totally get it. It's okay," she said kindly. "We all have those days, right?"

Jake nodded furiously, trying but failing to unglue his eyes from her chest.

"So, uh, you're here to see my sister, right?" Rachel asked.

"Your sister?"

"You know...Lisa? The girl you just asked me about?"

"...Oh! Riiiiiight, Lisa! Totally forgot for a second there. My head is really all over the place today, I really need to sleep more, you know how it is, when you're running around all the time, and-"

"-Yup, yup, uh huh," Rachel said, cutting him off. "Lisa's over there in the kitchen, want me to go get her for you?"

"-Oh...oh yeah, that'd be great," Jake said.

Rachel quickly left the room and moments later returned with Lisa by her side. All dressed up, Lisa looked almost as beautiful as her sister. She was wearing bright red lipstick, her hair fell in loose waves around her face, and her dress was just a little too tight in all the right places. Her heels were even higher than usual, and she was maybe even a little bit taller than Jake tonight. Jake didn't know whether to stare at Rachel's chest or Lisa's legs now, it was almost too much.

"Lisa...wow," Jake said breathily.

"Wow yourself," Lisa said with a slight smile, gesturing towards Jake's slightly-nicer-than-normal outfit.

"Wal-mart," Jake said, popping his collar confidently.

"Oh really?"

"And these babies are 100% not stolen," Jake said, pointing at his new shoes.

"Well, I can't say I'm not impressed," Lisa said. "Mostly because you didn't wear your air-Jordans on our date night."

"Hey, those were really cool back then!" Jake said. "You know I haven't worn those since high school."

"Hey, high school Jake is all I know, remember?" Lisa said. "I haven't really gotten to know adult Jake yet."

"That's because he doesn't exist," Jake said, flashing her a toothy grin.