Starlight | Fillie

Manipulation

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Finn's awakening is even more sorrowful than the whole rollercoaster of events he experienced the previous day.

The first thing he thinks when he opens his eyes is how uncomfortable he feels. He is lying in a pool of sweat, on the top of the sheets and still fully clothed.

He looks around, dizzy and stunned by the suffocating environment, while trying to catch a few coordinates to orientate himself.

The wet pillow, the starlight projector on the messy nightstand, the open suitcase abandoned on the ground alongside the Chanel shopping bag give him all the answers.

He is in his apartment in Los Angeles, overwhelmed, broken up and most of all... Alone. The proof of it is the miserable empty spot next to him.

Like a nightmare unfolding, Millie is not here, and the weight of her body is not lying against his. Her splendid eyes are not there to soothe him and her lips are not dancing on his.

It's entirely different from the way he woke up the day before. The air is thin and doesn't have her perfume in it. Finn has nobody to embrace if not the sense of abandonment hanging over him.

It is incredible how fast things shift.

Just twenty four hours before he felt like he had it all—he had her. He finally, concretely felt like they could go places and make it out together, forgetting about the past and all the complications.

That he could have taken Millie out to a nice little place in West Hollywood and given her the best night of her life; that he would have given her his best intentions, and told her that he loved her like nobody else ever did.

Instead, he is currently stuck in his apartment, with the remnants of one of the worst fights he has ever had in his life with his (now ex) best friend and still utterly devastated by the terrible scenario of not seeing Millie again.

He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face and neck, trying to shake the sleepiness and disappointment off him, but they seem to be glued to his skin.

His fingers touch the proof of his solitude, the starlight pendant, and Finn questions himself what the hell is he even doing there. Everything doesn't make sense when she is not with him.

He misses her in ways that common communication can't do. How can you explain a feeling when you can't even put it out in words?

He ruined everything and overreacted during their fight, making her feel like she wasn't important when, in reality, it's all the contrary: Millie is not his reason to live but she is undoubtedly his only reason to feel.

However, no matter how deep his feelings are for her, Finn can't go back and change the past. He came to terms about this terrible truth a long time ago.

They parted ways and it was time for the most difficult things of all: trusting her and waiting for her to (eventually) come back.

It could only be a matter of weeks but he well knows that scarce twenty four hours of distance between them can create infinite problems.

But, again, nothing he could do about it.

Resigned, Finn forces himself to get up from the bed and take a quick shower before going to work.

In everything he does, from the moment the stream of water pours on him to the moment he dresses up again in fresh clothes, he can't stop thinking about everything that has happened.

Josh's betrayal and the fake relationship with Violet will be a scar carved into his skin that will never heal. A concrete black mark he won't be able to wash out.