Starlight | Fillie

Are you afraid of the dark?

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"Miss Brown— Miss Brown, wait!"

The bodyguard shouted in panic, as he was following her down the corridor in order to reach the elevator.

But Millie shook her head, the tears streaming down her eyes as she kept smashing her palm on the button, waiting for something or someone to take her away.

There weren't any words to describe what she was feeling. That absolute raw need to let it go, to punch someone, to cry, to shout so bad that all of her voice would lose in the wind.

She was broken hearted right now, and the cause of it was a person she used to love.

Used to love.
Because now she understood it, she had realized the horrible truth: she didn't love him anymore.

His eyes were cold, freezing like an endless winter, and his words so bitter that neither a million of candies could sweeten it. Finn hated her, and she hated him. It was a mutual feeling now.
There was nothing left to say.

"Miss Brown, you can't go out by your own!" There's a new type of worry in the man's voice.

Millie shouldn't be by herself, neither in such delicate circumstance. Her parents had paid millions to never leave her unsupervised: they agreed to live in Atlanta, giving her space, and let her move to London where she could start new; but in US? In US she needed to be escorted.

There wasn't any other solution.

"Leave me a-alone!" She snapped, begging for her bodyguard (a dear person, of course) to let her having her moment.

Hundreds of thoughts buzzed her head. She couldn't think straight now: there was just a tension rising from within that she was not able to ignore. The certainty to be a fucking failure. The unbearable feel to scream that in that miserable world she was alone, and no matter how much she tried to be positive and lovely with the others — they always hurt her back.

She would be blamed to be homophobic when she would never say or act like that in all of her life. She would be blamed to act not like her age. She would be blamed to be overrated, annoying and embarrassing.

She was blamed for being herself. And, now, she was tired of it.

When the electric doors opened, she jumped on the inside of the elevator and immediately closed it before the man that used to escort her around (and, most of all, protect her) could go inside. And it was when those four narrow walls surrounded her that she let out the scream of frustration that shattered her heart.

Because you know that nobody would love you if you weren't famous.

"It's true." She muttered, her lips trembling the more she thought of Finn's words.

He was right.

She brought her fingers to her eyes, holding back those devastating tears and those nerve wrecking sobs as she slid down the wall behind her.

This time, Finn wasn't there to hold her.

Millie slides down the red bricked wall.
She feels her frail bones and body collapsing, the exhaustion making her feel like the world is crumbling down her feet.

Breath in. Breath out.
Her lungs are exploding and her legs melt lung into a puddle as she slowly reaches the floor of the set.