Inevitable, A modern day Reylo AU

Chapter 11 - Rocky Roads

A/N - Hi Lovelies!  A shorter chapter for you today - but again, its all part of the puzzle that will be this story.  I'll try to keep posting regularly to keep the story moving and I hope you enjoy.  Please drop me your lovely little comments and hit that little star to vote!  Thanks again for all of your support!

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The rocking of the train car was lulling Rey to sleep as she rode home after work.  Even though it was Friday, she'd stayed late, wanting to delay the inevitable confrontation with Finn.  What in the fuck was she going to say to him?

She had no idea why he'd lied to her – so she'd give him the chance to explain, and try to hold onto her temper while doing it.  It had been weeks, and they still hadn't had sex.  At this point, she didn't even want to.  Not until they were back on better footing.  Things between them were definitely tense, but at this point, she didn't know how to make them better.

They needed to have a good chat, and to be honest with each other.  Did he still want to try to make their relationship work?  Did she?  She sighed.  Everything was just so confusing.  She'd been trying very hard to find the closeness they used to share – that connection - with him again, but it hadn't been working. Instead, she'd been inadvertently growing closer to Ben.  She wasn't complaining about that – she'd never had a friend as close as him, and now that she did, she wouldn't trade it for anything.

However, she could sense that her feelings for him seemed to be changing – deepening somehow.  Because of that, she couldn't help feeling a bit disloyal to Finn.  Shouldn't she be as close to her significant other as she was to Ben?  Shouldn't she be able to tell Finn anything at all?  Unfortunately, she didn't feel like she could - especially not now.

Sighing deeply, she chewed on her lip, lost in thought.

Her and Finn had never had a relationship like that.  They'd never really shared their deepest darkest secrets with one another.  Sure, they'd talked about things, like Finn's experiences growing up in Foster care, and Rey's loss of her natural parents so young, but somehow it always felt a bit superficial – only ever really scratching the surface of their feelings.  As a result, she'd never truly considered Finn as someone she could confide in.

Despite her promise to Ben, she hadn't even told him about her recent discoveries about her parents, not wanting to answer what she usually called 'Finn questions'.  Questions that were unintentionally hurtful in their insensitivity and banality.

Sometimes, it was almost as if Finn couldn't understand certain emotions.  Because he didn't have parents nor a family of his own, she wasn't sure how he'd react to the situation, worried that he might think that although it was tragic, that what had happened – the intrigue of it all - was also kind of cool.  She didn't think she'd be able to handle that, and because of it, had simply stayed silent about the whole thing.  And maybe that's what she'd been missing in a partner – a confidant.

She was worried whether that could be part of the reason why things weren't improving with him – if she was unintentionally and unconsciously sabotaging them.  She didn't think so, but Rey liked to examine every facet of a problem while trying to solve it – and she at least recognized that it was a distinct possibility that that was what was happening.

Shaking her head, she brought herself back to reality.  In the end, it didn't really matter.  Ben was her best friend.  She knew that he also valued their friendship – just as much as she did.  Hearing his voice echo in her head, his words played over and over again in her mind.