Stronger Together (bxb) ✔

Chapter 42 - Chase

Chase's POV

I finished showering and changing into my yellow and grey Homer Simpson pyjamas about five minutes ago and I have been standing at the door since then, waiting for Diego.

"Chase?" Diego's quiet voice calls from the other side of the door.

I immediately fling the door open and Diego jumps, slightly startled by the force with which it swings open. He is wearing a snug, light grey T-shirt and dark grey sweatpants that cling to his muscular legs, and his hair is still damp and sticking up in all directions.

A tiny giggle escapes me because this is the first time I've seen him without his hair perfectly styled. Even when we went to the gym, he would always take hair products with him and styled while he was still the shower.

Resisting the urge to play with his hair, I step aside and let him enter. If he still wants me after our chat, I'll definitely play with it! I plop down on the bed, tucking my legs under the covers. I place Peanut Wigglebutt, the yellow M&M soft toy that Diego got me, on my lap. I named him that because he's a peanut covered M&M and he likes to wiggle his butt when he dances.

"Awww my cute, adorable boyfriend," Diego coos as he approaches the bed. His praise elicits another giggle and I hug Peanut Wigglebutt closer.

Diego hesitates once he reaches the bed, not sure where he should sit. I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to decide how close I want him to be. "You can sit next to me," I mumble, pulling back the covers so that he can get under the duvet.

I twist a little, placing my back against the wall, so that I can still see his face.

"Can I ask you something?" I whisper after a moment of silence.

Diego smiles and nods, prompting me to continue. "Do you think our relationship will last if I never want to have sex?"

I hold my breath as I wait for him to reply, not knowing which response is worse. If he says yes, I'll think he's lying because I've seen him looking at me with a lustful gaze. Usually it's after we workout and my shirt is drenched in sweat and clinging to my body. He has never acted on it and it doesn't make me uncomfortable, but the desire is there. If he says no, it will break my heart because I really don't think I can bear to see him with anyone else. It's selfish and mean but I want him all for myself.

"Chase, I'm not answering that question because you'll hate whatever response I give you," Diego says in a voice as calm and gentle as a babbling brook.

The crushing weight pressing against my chest seems to dissipate with Diego's response. My eyebrows knit together at my reaction. Did I really ask a question I didn't want to hear the answer to?

"With that being said, I wasn't lying when I said I'd wait as long as you want me to," he reassures me with a soft smile playing at his lips.

I suck in a shaky breath, unable to be fully convinced by his words. "I'm scared. I don't want to lose you but I'm scared that I will. I'm so broken Diego and you're so perfect. If I can't fulfill all of your needs then..." I trail off as tears start to run down my cheeks.

It feels like sadness and insecurity are trying to drag me deep down into their oceans and leave me there, suffocating and struggling to breathe. I wheeze and sniffle as my tears drop onto the duvet. There will certainly be a lot to unpack with my therapist next week.

Why isn't he saying anything? Why won't he comfort me? Will he leave me to drown in this ocean of despair? The silence seems to ring on for hours before I hear Diego whisper my name.

My gaze drifts towards him and tears have gathered in the corners of his eyes yet I can see his dimples as he gives me a sweet smile. One that I realized he has reserved just for me. A smile that makes me feel like I'm the most precious person in the world. He holds open his arms, inviting me into his embrace.