Stronger Together (bxb) ✔

Chapter 8 - Chase

Here's a picture of what I think Mike would look like.
Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Chase's POV

I am sick of my brothers. It's the day after I came out of my one week coma and my brothers are driving me crazy. They all took time off work and have been in my hospital room the whole day. Was this even allowed? I just need some space. The more time I spend with them, the more likely they are to figure out just how broken and disgusting I am.

Every time I close my eyes it's like I'm back there again with those four guys. Mike, I trusted him. I trusted him and he betrayed me in the worst possible way. How can I trust anyone ever again? They could turn on me in a heartbeat, just like Mike.

Why did I let myself trust him? I'm pathetic. How could I let him and his friends do that to me? I could have listened to Jesse but I didn't. I didn't trust Jesse's instincts. I trusted someone I have known for 5 weeks over a brother I've known all my life. It's all my fault. I deserved it. Just like they kept telling me that night, I deserved it all.

I'm so scared that they will find me, that Mike will walk through my hospital door. I asked Mason to get me a new phone and sim this morning. I can't even look at that phone, it reminds me of that night and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I used to wait eagerly by that phone for Mike to text me. Maybe because that phone was there with me that night but I couldn't reach it to call for help. Maybe because Mike still had that phone number and he could call me at any time. For whatever the reason I never wanted to see that phone again.

I can barely eat. I get nauseous every time that night pops into my head; which means I'm constantly nauseous. This morning, Mason tried to get me to eat something since I hardly ate the night before and I forced it down to make him happy. My stomach, however, wasn't having it and I threw everything back up. Of course that only made him more worried.

I need to get myself under control but it's hard to do that when I keep reliving what happened; when every time I close my eyes I'm right back there in Mike's apartment. This morning, I woke up in a cold sweat; hyperventilating and paranoid. Jesse asked what my nightmare was about and I had to lie to him. I told him, it was about the car crash. He hugged me tightly until I calmed down, saying over and over again that I will be alright. I really really want to believe those words but I don't think I'll ever be ok. I wish I died in that car accident.

"How did I even survive the accident?" I cut off Justin who was talking to me about god knows what. I try really hard not to let any disappointment seep into my voice. It would have been so much easier if I died. Jesse gave me an unreadable look but didn't say anything.

"Fortunately, the truck didn't hit you head on. Given the positions of the vehicles when the police and paramedics arrived, they said that you swerved out of the way of the truck." Well I definitely don't remember that. "Apparently the truck driver had a heart attack and died while driving." Justin finished, sadness creeping into his voice.

I hum a response and glance back at the TV frowning. Did I really try to save myself at the last second? I really don't remember that. I had closed my eyes and then I remembered the truck hitting me. "You haven't called Mike and he didn't come visit you in the hospital even though I left a message and told him you got into an accident. What happened? " Jesse questions staring intently at my face.

My heart speeds up, my breathing becomes rapid and tears well up in my eyes. I can't hold it in anymore. I let the tears fall covering my face in my hands. I hear Jesse next to me muttering murderous swears at Mike. He wraps his arms around me, rubbing my arm and telling me that everything will be ok. He has said that to me a lot recently but why can't I believe him? I cry in Jesse's arms for what felt like forever. When I lift my head, I see Justin, Mason and Chloe standing there awkwardly. They realized yesterday that I no longer liked to be touched so they were holding back. If this was any other time I would welcome a group hug but now the very thought of that makes me feel uncomfortable and sick to the stomach.

Jesse pulls away from me and sits at the side of the bed. "Did he hurt you?" Jesse's voice comes out harsh and cold. He's pissed at Mike but a small part of me believes that his tone is directed at me, that he's angry I allowed myself to get hurt. I just want to forget everything.

I look down at the bed, fidgeting with my fingers. "I'm ok," I whisper.

"You didn't answer the question, did he hurt you?" I peek up at Jesse to find that his fists are clenched. Is he going to try to hurt me too? I quickly banish that thought from my head. If I'm only certain of one thing, it's that Jesse would never hurt me.

With that in mind, I reach out and touch one of his fists, squeezing lightly. He relaxes his hand and squeezes mine in return; his expression still murderous. "I'm ok, really." God, I hate lying to him.

"I'm going to go confront him." Jesse stands up.

"Nooooo!" I cry out. He can't go confront him! That guy said that he would do the same to Jesse. He said he wanted to see pain in Jesse's eyes. No, no, no, I can't let him go there! "Please, I'm ok!"

"Then tell me what happened." I flinched at his harsh tone and expression. Looking back down I shake my head.

"I don't want to talk about it now." I don't know if I'll ever want to talk about it. I peek up at Jesse just to see him turn and stomp out of the room. I glance to the other side of my bed to see that my other brothers had silently watched the exchange. It's obvious that they're angry too. They look at me with questioning eyes but I shake my head and look back down at the bed.

********

I was discharged from the hospital a week later. They kept me longer than they needed to because Mason insisted. I was on strict bed rest once I was discharged and three weeks after my discharge from the hospital, Jesse was still taking his role of caregiver very seriously. Since I was discharged he has never left me on my own. I couldn't breathe without him asking if I needed anything. Currently he is watching me as I eat the food he made.

"Why don't you go look for Bryan?" I ask him hoping he'd say yes and I could get a minute alone.

Jesse told me about the guy he met at the club the same day I came out of the coma. It was when Shawn was there and Jesse gushed and blushed through his encounter with Bryan. It was adorable. I was happy for him, it was rare to see him this into someone. He had such bad taste in men and his relationships never lasted.

I knew he actually liked him when he started looking for furniture and designing what he thought the rooms in Bryan's dream house would look like. It was a weird thing he did. He had designed the rooms of my dream house as well as my other brothers' and Shawn's. We all have used some of the stuff that he picked out. They were actually really good and somehow accurately captured our unique styles.

I felt guilty that I was the one who caused him not to get Bryan's number that night. Then while I was recovering Jesse never left my side so he wasn't able to go back to the apartment and ask him out. That was my fault too.

"And leave you all alone, no way, I'm never letting you out of my sight again." Jesse replies.

"I'm not a child, I don't need you to look after me 24/7. Besides you haven't left my side since I woke up from the coma. I want you to be happy and you clearly want to ask him out so you should go do that. You should get back to work too, your business is new and I know you turned down clients because of me." I really do mean every word I said. I don't want him to put his life on hold because of me.

"I know what you're thinking, I'm not putting my life on hold because of you, you just happen to be a priority in my life and more important than that other stuff." I swear Jesse can read my mind sometimes.

"Ok, fine! But you can leave me alone for a few hours. Besides Justin is here." I'm sure he can use some time off from being my caregiver. He looks exhausted. Not to mention I wake him up almost every night screaming because of the nightmares.

He looks thoughtful for a moment then nods telling me to call him if I need anything. When Justin or Mason are here, they usually leave me alone in my room, periodically checking on me to make sure I'm okay. So when Jesse leaves, I know I have about an hour or two by myself. I shove my head into my pillow letting the tears that I was holding in all day fall.

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