Worthy of Sin

Twenty-One

Zola 'Slim' Monroe || November 1998

It had been about a week since I'd last seen or heard from Sincere. He was obviously very adamant about cutting ties with me, and although it hurt my feelings and had me confused, I had to accept it.

I just couldn't understand how at the very beginning of our situation— he was still fucking around with Karmen and it wasn't an issue. I didn't feel the need to press him because we weren't together. That was also his main reasoning for keeping up with his bullshit.

I wasn't his girlfriend, so he was free to do whatever he wanted. Just like now, after affirming the fact I wasn't his girlfriend, I was free to do whatever I wanted.

His hypocritical ass couldn't handle that, so he wanted out and I was fine with that. Maybe it was my pride, but I wasn't going to beg him to stick around.

Besides, I was onto better things these days.

For one, I was focusing on myself. I finally stopped playing and I went ahead and started studying so I could take the written part of my driver's test.

It was getting colder by the day in New York, and having to wait outside to hail cabs and shit wasn't going to work. The subway system confused the hell out of me, so that wasn't an option either.

As far as getting a car goes, I had that on lock. I already knew that given Sincere and I's current circumstances, I wouldn't be getting a car out of him. I didn't care because I never asked in the first place.

I had enough money saved up from working at my job and the thousands of dollars Sincere had given me over the course of our relationship. I knew that would be more than enough. I would be getting myself a whip soon, then I'll be focused on getting my own apartment.

Living with Kori started off as cool, but now she was starting to act funnier and funnier by the day. I don't know what it is with her, but these last two weeks,  she'd been acting different.

Her attitude was off the walls and for some reason, she'd been acting sneaky. Every time I would question her about her whereabouts, she would either claim to be with Sadé, or she was snapping at me, telling me to mind my business.

I didn't know what was up with her; but what I did know is I was craving my own space beyond a bedroom. I wanted to experience being on my own two feet, and I wanted to be at the peak of my independence.

As far as my dealings with Silas goes, everything was everything with us. Due to our busy schedules, we hadn't really seen each other since our last date. The phone calls and the random acts of thoughtfulness didn't cease.

During our time apart, he unexpectedly sent flowers to my job twice and he had lunch sent to me. It was the little things that satisfied. Just the fact I crossed his mind and made him want to go out of his way to make me happy and make my day, I appreciated that a lot.

At the current moment, I was getting ready for my nail appointment. It was time for me to get pampered, and it was honestly my favorite thing to look forward to. I enjoyed the relaxation that came with getting my nails and toes worked on, and the confidence that came after that was my favorite feeling.

It made me feel like a new woman every time.

I had just slid on my jacket and grabbed my purse before exiting out of my bedroom and going into Kori's messy ass room to retrieve her keys.

This shit was absolutely ridiculous. There were empty water bottles and cans scattered all over her nightstand; there were clothes everywhere; dishes with half-eaten food in it— not to mention her room smelled like a straight cigarette factory.