Hackers

Time After Time

Authors blah: hey sorry for not updating, I plan for everyweek(?) hope you guys are enjoying this story, comments are appreciated (votes too :p) thank you!

Okay, I've fallen before. Hard but not hard enough to never again.

I toss and turn in my bed, eyes wide open and arms spread out. I quietly sigh so nobody can hear me.

The mind runs wide at the thought of falling again.

Back before I was arrested, I was in elementary school. I was always alone. Shying away from everybody, scared if what they thought of me. Nobody bothered to talk to me anymore, nobody cared anymore. Until grade four, we had table groups, they were assigned. When my table heard my name, I heard them sigh. They didn't want to sit with me for a month, except one boy, Ryder. He was assigned to sit beside me and when I sat down he smiled at me. I remember my head looking down and blushing. Though the conversations we had are now fuzzy, I still reminisce about the laughter we shared. Everything he said would make me smile and laugh. And for that month, I talked and didn't care what people thought. And still the following month, I didn't care either. Then the next and the next, throughout the whole year I talked, we talked. Of course, I fell for him. For the next three years of school I fell for him. And I was stupid enough to think he did too.

On the day of grad, I confessed. Everything. I told him how I felt and always felt since the day we met.

When I was done, Ryder stared at me. A smile emerged from his face.

"So you like me?" he asked. Our eyes meeting and my heart beating through my chest at that moment.

"Yes."

The nice smile on Ryder's face turned into a face full of laughter. Not the nice kind.

"Well, I don't feel the same about you." he said with no empathy. "I never liked you, you were always so annoying I thought I'd never be freed."

Tears weld up in my eyes as I remember in my jail cell.

Then that night at the end of grad, one if my friends came up to me as I sat alone in the ball room. It was the final dance, a slow dance that for days I had been imagining Ryder and I to be dancing to.

"Eleanor." he said.

I looked up at him, my mascara running with my tears. He put out his hand for me and smiled. He tilted his head to the dance floor.

"Shall we dance?" he said, all of elementary school I have loved that movie, and still to this day. He was the only one I told when we were playing truth or dare.

I forced a smile on my face and placed my hand in his.

"Yes, Levi." I reply. Still smiling Levi pulls me up. He held my hand tightly in his and wrapped his arm around my waist. I buried my face into my chest as we slowly danced. Letting even more tears out. He gently stroked my back soothingly but never asking if I was okay. Because he knew the answer was no already and everyone knew why I was crying. But nobody helped but Levi, all the friends I thought I made were fake.

At the end if the dance Levi hugged me before he left.

"I love you." he whispered in my ear. "I always have and always will."

I was speechless when he said that and without giving me any time to say anything he left.

I snap back into reality again. Avoiding the painful memories. My counsellor always pushed me to remember, I always hated it. I've never gotten past that moment.

With a sigh I close my eyes to stop the tears.

Why did I remember this memory? I ask myself. I think for a moment, then it hits me again. Have I fallen again? I swore I wouldn't after Ryder. Then there's Levi, I never got to know. But maybe, just maybe, Carter has changed everything. Maybe Carter will help me open up again just like Levi and Ryder. Maybe.