Hackers

Charmed, I'm sure

Well that was that. I have fought with Carter twice now, the first time I guess wasn't a big deal but this time... It's real.

I can't believe it, Carter likes someone else. Well, I guess that I can believe. There are so many girls out there better than me he's met before, that are out there waiting for him in the future. But it wouldn't hurt to hope one day he could grow to like me back, right? But now it's even harder... Carter's gay and for Hughes. I'm a dense person so it makes sense that I never noticed I guess but I just wish that he wasn't. Not that I don't think it could work, it could work, it would be cute and I would support it and ship it so hard but the only thing is is that I like Carter. I'd recently come to realize that. But I guess I am too late. He's already got someone in his eyes. If only I had realized sooner, maybe, just maybe I could have paid more attention. Then I could suffer a little less heart break.

I stop running. I'm so done with running. I can't run anymore.

I let out a sad sigh.

I look up and brush away my tears with my sleeve and turn around to see if Carter followed me.

He did.

There he was standing behind me and tears started filling up into his eyes.

"So, you like me?" He asks. "Is that the case?"

"Duh, assbutt." I try smiling back but instead more tears flow.

"I thought so..." He sighs. "I was kinda hoping you didn't like me. To be honest I would prefer that."

"Oh, you're doing a good job with that right now." I scowl at him.

"But it's because I've liked Hughes from the start, and I when I met you I really wanted to be friends, I still do want to be friends, but I kinda chose you because I thought you wouldn't be like the other girls I've met before. They always fell for me, at first I didn't mind, I was kinda proud... But then I realized that I am gay so then I've avoided girls. I never told my parents, scared about them judging me. So I built up walls. But with my personality the walls didn't stay up that long and then I craved attention after avoiding people. But they got used to me being in the shadows and hardly cared about me anymore. That's when I got into hacking. It was all for their attention, even if it was bad, when I got caught I was relieved. The mad and disapointed looks on thier faces at me when the police came for me was satisfying. But once in prison I started regretting it all, until I met Hughes and he lit up my world. On that bus I noticed you and I thought you would be fine to have as a friend. I was right, through your sarcastic remarks and harsh reactions I knew you cared. So I talked to you. It was one of the best decisions of my life. Until I started thinking you liked me. That's why I started to change, become meaner, more cruel, different. I wanted you to hate me. Even if it costed our friendship I was hoping you could avoid the pain of love. I've felt that pain, and I still feel it. Right now too. But hey, this breaks my heart too. I don't want to see you mad, sad, crying. I want you to be happy. It's all my fault this happened. Listen, I'll tell Haruka I'm out and you guys can carry on without me."

"No." I say. "No, you can't do that."

"But-"

I cut him off again, "You have to stay Carter! I'm sorry for everything I'VE done. I'm sorry for all the yelling, sarcasm, shipping and putting everything on you! You can't go!"

"How could you want me to stay?"

"Because... I need you. Not just because I like you, but you can't leave me third wheeling Haruka and Hughes. God, why did I just say that?"

"Heh, you tried lightening up the mood."

"See? Another reason why I need you Carter! I need someone that understands me, and that only person is you."

"No harsh feelings?" He puts his hand out for me.

"I'll just admire you from a distance." I say with a wink and grab his hand.

"That was creepy." He laughs.

"Dude, your laughing." I exclaim.

"All this drama and back story make me emotionally unbalanced okay?"

"Whatever you say."

"Now let's go back into that Ardene's and see what happens."

"Totally."

That's what I love about Carter. He's so hard to stay mad at and always find his way around my emotions. He understands me. But deep down I can still feel the demons stirring inside me. And the walls built up are only chipped.

Pretending to be happy, I skip with Carter back into the Ardene's. All the same fake girls are still there and hiding around the aisles trying to pry into the gossip of Carter and I's lives.

Carter picks a couple of cute dresses for me to try on but I come out of the dressing room in a nice maroon tank top, ripped jeans, a black leather jacket and a pair of combat boots. That's more of my style.

Carter was disappointed that I wouldn't wear what he had chosen but brushed it off quickly once he got his eyes on the jewelry as I was paying for my clothes.

Before I handed over my credit card that Haruka gave to me, he pushes a pair of gold studded earrings and a long gold necklace with a small jewel hanging from it.

"I know this is more of your style." he smirks.

"What a nice boyfriend," the cashier interrupts. "would you like to buy that too?"

"Uh..." I say hesitantly. I look at Carter and his eyes are pleasing for me to get the jewelry. "Yes I am."

"How adorable!" the cashier giggles and scans the earrings and necklace with my clothes.

I let out a long sigh as I stare at Carter. He's smirking of course.

After we let Ardene's Carter pleads for me to put all of my clothing on, including the jewelry he choose.

With another sigh I head for the washrooms to change.

Authors blah: the chapter ended not as well as I hoped to be honest but I have a huge math test coming up and I have no time to update in time for today so here's what I got in the end...