casanova | selever + mfm oneshots

"say it, bitch" // selever

wAHHHHHHHHH another request

i was writing a diff oneshot but it can wait

anything for u Celestia_luden_berg (ong i was tagging your name wrong last time-)

aha im fast as fuck

also i forgot if i made reader curse last oneshot with the angel so- 🥶we'll act like she didn't

also this might be a bit short- i'm sorry 😩🤚

gave this no double check lol, but i havent done that with any of my oneshots-

- - - - - - - 

you were busy watching some random show with selever, your head on his lap. the room was almost quiet except the chatter from the t.v, and you were nearly asleep.

"hey, y/n, you really never curse, do ya?" he said as he stroked your wings.

"why would i?" you yawned.

"i mean, if you sinned hard enough to become a fallen angel, i'd expect you to at least be able to say 'fuck' or something. like how the fuck do you not curse?"

you rolled your eyes and flipped him off. 

"is that good enough for you?"

"you didn't say 'fuck off'. say it to my face."

"i don't feel like it." you pinched his thigh.

"owww, my bad shortstack, did i hit a nerve?" he poked you on the head.

you rolled over, stuck your tongue out at him, and went back into your earlier position.

"i'll make you say it, bitch," he flicked you on the forehead.

"bet."

"bet," selever smiled menacingly.

- - -

later in the night, while both of you were once again cuddling in bed, selever leaned in for a kiss, so naturally, you did too. (holy shit that's a lot of commas)

but when he pulled away last second, you opened your eyes in disbelief.

"what the f- heck selever?" you almost caught yourself slipping.

"so you do have curse words in your vocabulary, i see i see, you're just not intelligent enough to use them, like yours truly," he gestured to himself.

"you wish you had a high iq, sel."

"anyways, i've decided, until you say any curse word, there will be no hugs and kisses," he detached himself from you.

"selever!" you groaned.

"c'mon, it's just one word, what's gonna happen, sarv coming in here to beat the absolute shit out of you?"

"i can last a few days without hugs and kisses," you haughtily looked away from him.

"no, you can't. one of the first things you told me when we started dating was how touch deprived you were."

well fuck, he got you there.

"but whyyyyy," you made an even louder groan this time.

"i just want to see the oh holy y/n say one curse word. how have you not been influenced by me? you even have piercings, so just say one cuss word!" selever looked desperate.

"then you'll let me give you head pats whenever i want?"

he thought about it for a moment before saying, "fine, but this cuss word better be good."

you took a deep breath and said, "ok bitch, i swear i'm going to actually fuck you up with your tallass-"

"Y/N!" sarv busted in the room.

selever looked ready to cry in joy.

you just looked in horror that you've been caught by sarv.

"who knew y/n could go off so quickly?" selever happily said, satisfied.

"sarv, it's not what you heard-"

"i'm sure my ears work."

"i was quoting something from the dictionary. an example sentence, you know?"

you might not be getting out of this one, but at least you've earned your unlimited headpats pass.

- - - - - - - 

IM SORRY ITS SO SHORT KASJDHAKSJHD

ah suffer time another crack-ish fic

also wtf almost 800 reads-

word count // 581