monster has nothing on fucking ginger ale
i hate ginger ale but like
it works better than monster
monsters make me t i r e d
aNYWAYS WHJRJWKRHWEIUOBOIK AlMosT 20K but im sad dokki left the community :(
also ima be gone for like 2 days bc we're gonna see some s a n d . and no way in hell am i bringing up my wattpad next to my parents
crack bc why not
expecting a riot due to my lack of romance rn bros
when i say crack this time, i mean this is like how everyone who thinks the onceler isnt hot is like on a daily basis
stupid.
aha jkjk
no im not.
- - - - - - -
the Sun woke you up today, screaming its daily shit about how whoever the fuck named it daughter in whatever world you live in is a fucking dumbass.
simply communist propaganda.
speaking of propaganda, your husband, karl marx, came up to your room. did i tell you he was your dad? well now you know. he's totally not your husband.
"hey, baby, how'd you like my manifesto up your ass? did you feel the knowledge?" he came to place down a plate with a mirror on it. since you know, you were a snack yourself (aha so smooth)
"yup, i've now gained all the knowledge about the bourgeoisie being delicious as fuck. "
he nodded in approval, " now it's time for us to recite our national anthem in the town square."
the two of you walked out the house, you not caring about your super hot and sexy big bird costume you had on. it only attracted the furries, and once they saw your hus- daddy they were sure to run away.
you both reached the town square, where everyone of great knowledge was gathered.
you got big ed, the entire state of c a l i f o r n i a, and people you didn't care about because you don't know them and were too lazy to think about them in your brain.
it was only a few minutes until the anthem started, and a c a l i f o r n i a n came up to you.
"what do you feel about people living in montana, wyoming, colorado, or massachutcwhehskes?" they asked.
"they aren't real, " you replied.
they thought about it, and then probably went back to the rest of their cult buddies to spread their new found information.
the town lord, lord gaylord buckethead the twentieth, called to attention.
"ok, gnome looking fucks, it's time for our mandatory anthem. disclaimer, this might cause epilepsy, yadadada. and if i hear one of you guys getting a cornhub notification during this prayer to our underlord i will personally stick your dick down your throat."
everyone stayed quiet, for if you were to talk when he didn't ask you to, you were sent to his cheese sex dungeon. (? tf im confused too why am i thinking this)
he started off with, "what," and the rest of you chimed in.
"what the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? i'll have you know i graduated top of my class in the navy seals, and i've been involved in numerous secret raids on al-quaeda, and i have over 300 confirmed kills. i am trained in gorilla warfare and i'm the top sniper in the entire us armed forces. you are nothing to me but just another-"
and then thats when fucking sophia the fucking first came in. (sofia? sophia? what the f-)
or well it was some wackass dude in a purple dress.
"y/n, i've cum to save you from your acid coma trip," selever said as he came down with swiper the fox out of the damn clouds like that one barbie movie.
"i mean, if you've cum to save me, i think you might as well make me cu-"
"shut the fuck up midget ass," he said as sky daddy himself grabbed both of you, vroom vroom by charli xcx playing in the backround.
"this is, kinda hot," you debby ryan-ed.
"y/n, you need some help."
"but what about daddy? dADDY" you screeched.
then karl marx became a fucking dragon and ate all of you and your fucking wife.
the end.
- - - - - - -
word count // 698
YOU ARE READING
casanova | selever + mfm oneshots
Romance(lowercase intended) . . . since i'm pretty sure majority of us sinners are simping for this man and the only thing we're getting on our knees for is def not god,i've decided that the lack of really good, long oneshots/fanfictions of him is basicall...
