A Tight-Knit Family // Falsettos AU

Married

Whizzer

"Sorry, we're busy booking a trip, Charlotte said," I notify Marvin when I get a text back. "Ooh, fun, I'm gonna say. Am I invited?" 

"I know, Whizzer. I'm in the group chat, too," he replies grumpily. 

"What's up with you?" I ask him. "Did Trina's dresser from this morning affect you so much?" 

"I'm going to bed." He gets up. 

"Okay, good night!" I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it, but I can't tell why.  

"Good night." Marvin kisses me and then leaves. I'm left alone in his living room, pondering whether or not I should sleep over again. Actually, I'm starting to forget what the inside of my own apartment looks like, so maybe not. 

I get a notification as I'm leaving. Actually, it was just going to be the two of us as a couple. (From Charlotte.) 

Whizzer: Oh, cool. You guys are getting pretty exclusive. 

Cordelia: We've been exclusive for over a year... 

Whizzer: Ik, I just meant you guys are spending more time alone together. Like you're married

Charlotte: Oh no he didn't. 

Cordelia: 😓 that was actually the opposite of what we were going for

Cordelia: Like, you spend all your time at Marvin's place. I wanted something more than just "living together", because we've gotten super comfortable in that. 

(This reminded me that I was still in Marvin's doorway, so I began walking down the hall.) 

Cordelia: Like we're married. 

Whizzer: So you were trying to replicate the feeling of being a new couple, based on the new couples around you, but you couldn't do that at home because you felt too married there? 

Marvin: OMG WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE STIP SPAMMING 

Marvin: *STOP

Marvin: I'M TRYING TO SLEEP

Whizzer: WE'RE NOT SPAMMING

Whizzer: Sorry about Marvin, he's been in a pretty bad mood all day. 

Charlotte: Only all DAY? 

Cordelia: How come??

Whizzer: Something about Trina's dresser. I can't remember exactly. 

Charlotte: Ok so I don't think we're going on the trip anymore. 

Charlotte: It's the thing about being the old married couple that ruined it. 

Whizzer: Oh, I'm sorry!!

Cordelia: Well, we probably would have figured it out when we'd booked a hotel and were spending all our time together. ALONE together. 

Whizzer: Ok gn I don't want to anger my bf anymore

Charlotte: Goodnight 👋 

I exit Messages, realize I've stopped walking, and continue on my way home. 

Cordelia

"Well, now that the trip has flopped, what should we do?" I ask my girlfriend the following night, in the apartment where we always are. 

"I mean, Whizzer can really tell when something is a good idea or not," Charlotte muses. "What if we enlist him as our guide for Mission Don't-Feel-Like-a-Married-Couple...?" 

"You mean Mission Impossible?" I quip. It sounded more clever in my head. 

Charlotte laughs. Probably just because I'm her girlfriend. "There's hope. Especially with Whizzer." 

"'Kay, I'll text him—in a separate group chat—to see if he's okay with it." So that's what I do. He doesn't answer right now, since it's pretty late at night. 

"You know what? I think I'm gonna go to bed, too," Charlotte decides, referencing the fact that Whizzer's probably asleep. 

I check the time. 10:18. "Same." We wish each other a good night right now even though in just a minute we'll be sleeping in the same room. God, isn't that such a married thing to do? We need Whizzer. 

Charlotte

"All right," Whizzer says, days after having agreed to being our consultant. "I'm looking up 'what do new couples do'." 

"Isn't that kind of unnecessary?" Cordelia suggests. "I mean, you're part of a new couple. Sort of." 

"Fine." He drops his phone and looks at her. "Fight constantly but spontaneously decide to sleep together." 

"We already half do that," I remind my girlfriend. 

"Okay, TMI," Whizzer replies, going back to his phone. 

"What about you? You think we wanted to sit through Thanksgiving?" 

"You have no idea what happened between us!" 

"Come on, Whizzer. You were clearly all disheveled. And nobody is gone for that long just making up," I inform him. 

"We were making up." He half-smiles. 

"That's enough," interjects Cordelia, "please." 

"Whizzer, you're not really helping," I point out. 

"'What do new couples do'," Whizzer repeats.