A Tight-Knit Family // Falsettos AU

More Chaos

Marvin

"Oh, my God. It's so hot. Why are we doing this now?" I complain. 

"We could have done this back in March, when we painted the baby room. But no, we only recently decided to move in together," Whizzer tells me. 

"Well, whose fault is that?" 

"Excuse me, I wanted to move in with you for two months before we discussed it." 

"That makes it your fault!" I cry. 

My boyfriend sighs. "Let's stop talking about this. You know, none of this would be happening so early if we didn't collectively decide to raise the baby. Or if you'd put on a damn condom in the first place." 

"I did! It broke." 

He sets down a box and looks at me. "Well, did she remember to take an emergency pill?" 

I bury my face in my hands shamefully. "Back then I thought that it would still be effective." 

"You thought a broken condom was effective?" 

"Oh, sorry, am I interrupting anything?" Mendel asks, standing at the door. 

"No!" Whizzer stands up. "Thank you for coming, everything's upstairs now, so we're just gonna unpack." 

The psychiatrist picks up a box. "All right. Oh, by the way, Whizzer. You probably don't have much you're going to keep—I know I don't—so I was thinking we could sell our stuff together," he mentions. 

"Sounds fun," responds Whizzer. 

"Okay, well, prepare to be rich, Whizzer," I say, taking a look through his stuff. "We're barely keeping any of this." 

"What?" He turns around. "We're talking big furniture, Marvin! Don't tell me what I can and can't keep of that!" 

"Why do you need a framed picture of you with a random guy? Is this one of your exes?!" 

Whizzer grabs the picture. "I wish! You don't know who Bo Burnham is? I met him a few years ago. Who doesn't frame pictures of themselves with celebrities?!" 

"I don't even print mine," Mendel replies. 

"Like you have any photos with celebrities, Mendel." My boyfriend turns back to me. "The random guy is a comedian. I can't believe I'm moving in with a guy who doesn't know 'Repeat Stuff' exists." 

"I thought his name was Bo Burnham," I say quietly. 

"I'll just put this in storage or something." 

(Author's Note: ughhh I can never write a story without mentioning BB in it) 

"I kind of wish Trina had moved into my place," Mendel tells us. "I have so much more space." 

"Well, it's too late now, isn't it?" I point out. 

"Yeah." 

"Then get over it," Whizzer says from the floor. 

"Stop playing solitaire and unpack the rest of your stuff," I command him. 

"Ooh, I want to play solitaire!" decides Mendel. 

"What? You're not helping me?" Whizzer turns back to him. 

"And I'm the hypocrite?" I tease. 

"What? Oh, that was like seven months ago. Chanukah, right?" 

"Look me in the eye and tell me you think Chanukah was seven months ago." 

"You were only playing for a little while, huh?" Mendel interrupts, examining the cards on the floor. 

"No," Whizzer says without shame, "I just really suck at solitaire." 

Charlotte

"So does the father know about me and Cordelia being the godmothers of your kid, or is that something you decided for yourself?" I ask Trina over the phone. 

"Which father?" 

"Oh, you have a point there. I meant Mendel. But do any of them know?" 

"No, but I don't think they've considered it that much. Most people don't choose their kids' godparents this long before they're born." 

"Trina, you're overdue." 

"Well, I'm not giving birth anytime soon!" she raises her voice. "Sorry for shouting." 

"Oh, no worries. I'm sorry, I have to go. I've been studying a lot lately..." 

"And you need a break?" 

"No, I need to study more." 

"All right, I'll let you go," Trina laughs. "Take care." 

"Bye." I hang up. 

The thing she said earlier sparks worry in me. What if one of the parents (specifically Marvin or Mendel, Whizzer's just kind of there) has thought of a different godparent? Am I still going to keep my spot as the fifth resort? And I was so excited to have a godchild, too. My entire heart feels like the 😔 emoji right now. 

I decide to go and ask them when I get a break. I go to Marvin's apartment first, because it's right next door. Plus, I'm pretty sure Whizzer has already moved in and I'll be able to kill two birds with one stone. 

The door is open, so I walk in. There are open boxes all over the floor, Mendel is arranging playing cards on the floor of a corner (oh, good—three birds), and Marvin and Whizzer are arguing over where to put a picture of Whizzer and Bo Burnham. They seem busy. 

Okay, well. Maybe I'll ask them once they get a break.