A Tight-Knit Family // Falsettos AU

The Men Paint

Charlotte

"So why exactly do you not want to feel like a married couple? It sounds just like progress in a relationship." 

"Trina, come on. Cordelia and I are dating. There's time to feel married when we're married." 

"What did she say?" my girlfriend asks (we're on the phone, so she can only hear my parts). 

I tell her. 

"Who are you telling what I said?!" Trina demands from the other side of the line. 

"Nobody." 

"You could have easily told her," Cordelia points out. 

We have a lot of explaining to do during this journey. First to Trina, then to Mendel, then again to Marvin because he wasn't really listening the first time. Of course, Whizzer helps. But nothing really works. 

And, boy, has a lot of time gone by. We may as well be married now. 

You know how they say that time flies when you're having fun? It also flies when you're desperate to do something right away. 

Hey, wait. You know, this whole journey may have been more fun than I realized. And that makes sense. Apparently this psychological study proved that "time flies when you're having goal-motivated fun". I knew this was a goal, but I never realized how fun it was. 

I decide right then and there (after four months of trying) that I'm going to enjoy the rest of this journey. I'll probably miss it when it's over. 

Mendel

"Trina, you shouldn't be in here!" I gently shove my girlfriend out the door. 

"Yeah, because this is the... guest room... and... we're the guests, not you." 

"That's not why, Marvin." 

"Well, I can't think of a reason!" 

I explain, more to Trina than to him. "BabyCenter said it's best to limit your exposure to paint fumes. This job is going to take forever, and I don't want you in here for too long." 

"Fine," she sighs. "I kind of like that you're looking up every single health concern. Kind of." 

"Sit outside the room," I command her. 

Whizzer comes in to help, finally. "What, is Trina in a time-out?" 

"No, she just shouldn't be around paint for too long." 

"So, why do people paint their kids' nurseries anyway? Just keep the old wall colour and put a crib in there, right?" he asks as I close the door. 

"No, according to the mother, 'babies' are obsessed with pretty rooms," Marvin calls, toward the door. 

"Okay, you already know that some of the decorations were just for myself," Trina says from outside. 

"I knew it!" 

"Because I told you!" 

"Okay, that's enough," I step in. "Let's just paint right now." 

Whizzer grabs a paintbrush. "Who the hell chose this beige colour? Were they colourblind and thought it was, like, pink or something?" 

"Thanks, Whizzer," replies Trina. 

"It's beautiful," he assures her. 

"So we need to paint the entire thing before decorating," Marvin brings up, "even though it'll probably take the last four months of your pregnancy to put in all the decorations, Trina. You bought so much stuff." 

"I think there are three months left," says Whizzer. 

"Yeah, there are," I chime in. 

"Three months?" Marvin looks panicked. "I thought she was six months through..." 

"A pregnancy is nine months," Whizzer tells him. 

"I thought it was ten!" 

"Who told you that?!" 

"It's 40 weeks! I rounded up!" 

"It's nine months." 

"Mendel, tell him it's ten months."

"Whizzer?" I ask. 

"Yeah?" he replies. 

"It's nine months." 

"Let's just paint," says Marvin. 

"Wow." I realize this slowly. "We only have three more months to prepare. Well, give or take. And by that, I mean give. It hasn't been six full months." 

"Oh, my God, that's a relief." 

"Painting is kind of boring," Whizzer complains. 

"We've barely done any of it!" I point out. 

"You guys haven't." 

I look up. "When did you have time to do the ceiling?!" 

"While you two were worrying about the three months we have left." 

"You're not worried?!" Marvin asks him. 

"I am, that's why I'm doing this." Whizzer looks confused. "The faster we get done, the sooner we can bring in the heaps of decorations you keep mentioning." 

"For the record, there's not even that much!" Trina tells him. 

"There is," I contradict. "I saw." 

"Anyway," says Marvin, "Whizzer has a point. We should be motivated to hurry, not too fazed by this to do anything." 

"Thank you," his boyfriend replies. 

"Can I come in and see the progress?" Trina asks, still outside. 

"When it dries after we're done," I inform her. 

"But—never mind."