Natasha Romanoff X fem reader One shots

The light in her dark mind

Request by @imdeadwhokilledme I really do enjoy taking your requests!

Background: your dating Natasha. Your mind starts to get clouded with some dark thoughts. Your just not happy anymore.

Your POV:

I sat there with the team eating dinner. Tony was attempting to crack a bunch of terrible jokes and Steve was being profanity police as always. The laughter surrounded the table. Natasha's hand rested on my thigh. Scott was messing around with Peter and you could never think that the people in front of you have ever seen the world falling apart in front of them. That they hadn't been broken down and pulled apart. I have so many wonderful people around me but I'm just not happy.

Everything was just noise. I saw everyone around me, happy, their smiles were genuine while for me the quick smile I'd flash was simply a reflex. My body on auto pilot. The world simply turned and that was it. I saw Natasha but didn't see her. And I wasn't depressed. That wasn't it. I've been depressed and this wasn't depression. I simply didn't feel the cage of butterflies release in my stomach anymore, the happiness just wasn't there. I didn't wake up in the morning smiling anymore because I smelled pancakes. I wanted to be happy but how could I tell all these people around me who were so full of joy that I wasn't happy? I'd become a burden. I didn't want them to be trying to take care of my petty thoughts. I sat in my chair and waited for dinner to be over.

"How about a movie?" Bruce smiled and looked at me "how about grownups Y/N?" I shook my head "I think I'm gonna get to bed. Thanks tho" Wanda looked at me "everything ok Y/N?" I shook my head "Everything's fine" Natasha squeezed my leg "I'll come with you to bed" my lips reflexed into a smile "no, you stay and enjoy the movie I'll see you in the room babe"

I walked over to the sink and started washing my plate, I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and I jumped, Natasha's soothing voice was at a whisper, comforting me "it's just me. Why won't you stay?" I turned to her "I'm just tired" she looked into my eyes and I quickly turned back around to finish washing my plate.

Natasha's POV:

For weeks Y/N has been laughing less. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes anymore. I figured it was just the missions and paperwork but now she was on break and nothings changed.

I wrapped my arms back around her waist from behind again, kissing the top of her head and resting my chin there. She let the hot water run over her hands, I felt her inhaling and exhaling deeply against me. I turned off the water and turned her to me "your not just tired. I know you when your tired" she looked down and mumbled "I know" I took her hand "come on, we need to talk"

She followed me and we went into our shared room. I sat on the bed and she stood at the doorway. I held out my hand and she walked up to me, placing her hand into mine "your not happy my love. I see it in your eyes" tears filled her eyes and my heart broke "oh my love. Come here" she crashed into me and I kissed her head "tell me what's going on in your pretty little head dorogoy" she sniffled "I'm just not happy. I don't know why. Nothing seems to make me happy but there's nothing wrong around me" I stroked her hair "that's ok baby. Guess what I love you no matter what and I'm always here but you gotta tell me when this is happening, ok princess?" She shook her head "I just didn't wanna be a burden. You all looked so happy" I lifted her chin "you will never be a burden to me babygirl" she shook her head and I held her close. Whispering how much I loved her.

After thirty minutes of cuddling I looked down at her "hey princess why don't we watch a movie. We'll get you changed into my clothes and I'll give you back rubs and some ice cream. How does that sound?" She giggled "ok" I smiled "was that a giggle? I missed your giggle baby" she buried her head "nooooo" I smiled and began to tickle her. She giggled and squealed, the sparkle in her eyes returning. "Nat stopppp it tickles!" I stopped and kissed her face all over "there's my happy girl" she smiled and it reached her eyes.

I carried her with me to get my clothes and let her pick them out. I helped her put them on and then carried her into the kitchen, Wanda turned and smiled "hey guys!" I spoke softly "heys wands what's up?" She smiled and got up from the couch and looked at Y/N in my arms, she whispered "you feeling better?" Y/N shook her head and I watched as a genuine smile painted her face. I smiled and kissed Y/N's head and hugged Wanda "we're gonna go watch a movie in my room. Thank you Wanda" she smiled "night Nat" she pulled Y/N into a gentle hug "night Y/N, if you want any happy thoughts I can give you some ok?" Y/N shook her head "can you......tonight?" Wanda looked at me and I shook my head then looked at Y/N "you wanna just skip the movie love?" She nodded "I'm sorry I've just not been sleeping much" I cupped her cheek "that's totally ok baby" she nodded and I kissed her head "ok let's go then"

Wanda followed us into the room and Y/N laid on my chest. Wanda looked at me as Y/N was already drifting off to sleep "what does she like?" Wanda whispered, I smiled and named things that made Y/N happy. Wanda nodded and I watched as she placed the thoughts into her head. A smile tugging her lips. I pulled her into me and rubbed her back "thank you Wanda" she smiled and handed me my phone "no problem Nat"

I held Y/N in my arms as Wanda slowly closed the door. I rubbed her back and she fixed her position to be more comfortable. Y/N was my girl. It would take time but at least I knew what was going on in her head.

I hope this is what you wanted. I'm sorry if it wasn't.

As always: I love you all 3000 and thank you