Saving Nicole

Chapter 52: Empty

Dallas's POV
--

Spencer is gone. So is the knife.

But none of that matters. My father is dead. He is dead because of me. It's all my fault. He jumped in front of me to save me. If only I had listened to him and never pestered him about fighting...

And now he's gone. Just like my mother.

This leaves me with the title of Alpha. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not ready. I can't do this. Maybe Stan can take it over until....

No. I am ready. I have to be.

He's gone. Oh, Goddess, no. He's dead. It's all my fault. My fault.

The pain and sorrow threaten to overwhelm me. I wish I could tear my heart out of my chest. I wish it would go away.

The grief I felt for my mother just adds to it now. Everything in me aches and burns from my physical injuries, but my emotional ones are worse.

I can't think properly, my mind hazing with grief. I can't go back to the pack right now.. Not like this with this kind of news...

So I sit there, broken and beaten, staring at the lifeless corpse of my father. The man who protected me for so long. The man who gave me purpose. The man who taught me.

I wait for the tears to come. But they don't. Surprisingly. I feel numb. I feel nothing. My pain has gone on a matter of seconds. I can feel the grief leak right out of me.

It's time. Standing, I brush off my shorts. I don't even wince as I rest my weight on my broken leg. I don't even wince when I look at the deep cuts along my torso.

I don't feel anything. The pain no longer matters. The rest of my grief gets locked up somewhere in my head in a metal crate, never to be opened again.

I stare at my father's body again.

I'll come back later.

With that, I walk in the direction of the PackHouse.

--

When I come back, what seems like every pack member is out front, lounging. I think they are waiting for my father and I to come back.

I'm about to disappoint them.

Nicole and Mica are chatting on the porch, Nicole sitting in a comfy chair, Mica leaning against the door and waving his hands as he speaks.

Nicole grins at something he says and then her eyes glance in my direction. Her mouth forms a word and Mica looks, too, along with everyone else.

I walk back, the grass swooshing beneath my feet. I don't care that I tore my clothes and all I have is a pair of shorts. I don't care that I probably look like I came back from the underworld. I don't care that I'm still bleeding urgently.

I ignore everyone, my intention only to go upstairs and sit in my room to figure out what I'm going to do. I want to be alone.

As I walk, multiple people call out to me to ask if I'm okay and where my father is. I see Doctor Monte struggling to go through the crowd to get to me.

When I reach the porch, I take the quiet steps to the door. Nicole stands and faces me.

"Damian?" She asks quietly, her eyes hopeful. I pause, turning my head to look at her and lock gazes with her. I don't answer, only staring at her unblinkingly. She stumbles, taking a step back in surprise.

I head through the door, walking into the PackHouse where a few Members who couldn't get outside sit. They all stare at me and ask the same questions as the other. I ignore them. Again.