Fuck I love you (yumikuri)

Chapter 12

"How did she get this waisted" Asked Annie as she watched Ymir carry her girlfriend inside the house.

"I'm guessing that while you were over on the couches gossiping to Historia like a couple of wine moms, she got her hands on the vodka." Replied Ymir as she lied the drunk down on the living room couch.

"Off topic but why is there a kitchen knife in your pocket?" Wondered Annie

"Well be all know how shitty straight, cis, white, frat boys can be. Especially the drunk ones." Answered Ymir

"Well yeah but why is it so big? It's like 14 inches." Added Annie

"That's what she said" Snickered Ymir as she handed Mikasa some advil and a cup of milk.

"Fuck you"

"No thanks but you really set me up for that one." Replied Ymir, running a washcloth under the sink water.

"Why did you give her milk and not water Ymir?" Asked Historia

"If I give her water while she's drunk it will thin her blood and make the alcohol stronger. Milk won't thin her blood nearly as much." Answered Ymir as she rung out the washcloth and walked towards the couch.

"I never expected Mikasa to be the sappy drunk type, I thought angry drunk or even stupid drunk but sappy, never."

"I've dealt with drunk Mikasa far too many times to count, it surprised me too at first."

"I can see why"

"Don't completely rule out stupid drunk though. Once she confessed her love for unicorn pinatas to me. Funny thing is, she's never even seen one to my knowledge."

As Ymir was bending over the couch and applying the washcloth to Mikasa's forehead, the drunken girl opened her eyes and grabbed Ymir by the shirt collar.

"YMIR!" Yelled Mikasa, violently shaking the girl.

"Yes?"

"WHAT YEAR IS IT AND ARE THERE FLYING CARS YET!?!?" Yelled Miksa as her grip around Ymir's shirt collar tightened.

"Its 2021 and no"

"HAS DADDY ELON RELEASED A NEW TESLA MODEL YET!"

"I don't know shit about Elon Musk but no."

"Daddy Elon?" Asked Annie

"Like I said, don't rule out stupid drunk."

Suddenly Mikasa passed out again.

"She's drooling on Reiners decorative throw pillow." Added Historia as Ymir and Annie went into a laughing fit.

"Get her some crackers, that oughta soak up the alcohol." Suggested Ymir as she bent over, hands on her knees and wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.

"I'll carry her my girlfriend upstairs and you two get the pills and crackers." Said Annie, heaving Mikasa over her shoulder and making her way up the stairs.

Historia watched as Annie disappeared upstairs then grabbed Ymir's arm.

"We're going swimming." Said Historia as she tugged Ymir towards the backyard.

"Our bathing suites are in the wash though."

"Doesn't matter, were going swimming."

"Its two AM, we've both drank and the pool is too deep."

"The shallow side is four feet deep and we both look sexy without shirts on, were going swimming."

Ymir finally obliged and Historia dragged her to the back deck.