A Slum Love Crime. (A$AP Rocky Story)

Part Cinque

So today was Rakim’s last day for babysitting me, and my last day for suspension. I’m happy I get to go back to school—I was getting bored in the house all day. But I’m not so thrilled about the no-more-Rakim part. Sure, I’ll see him after school on the steps and around the neighborhood, but is it the same as having him all-day and every day in the house?

No.

“Your mom said she’s coming home late tonight, right?” He asked me as he fiddled with some peeling skin near his fingernail.

“Yeah. So that gives us more time to get some things done…” I replied, nudging him. We were sitting on the steps inside the building together, watching the rest of the crew on the steps outside the building.

Rakim gave me a surprised look, and then I laughed. “Not those things! I mean, getting my dollar sign tattoo.” He sighed in relief, and I continued laughing.

“I don’t know…I don’t want to get involved in that. Get it if you want to, but don’t blame me if you get in trouble. I don’t need any more people blaming me for sh-t.”

I looked at Rakim, and that’s when I noticed the difference. Something was wrong with him today. He was acting strange; I caught him in deep thought a few times for the day already. What could be wrong?

“Is everything okay, Rocky?” I asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder. That was my new nickname for him. Hopefully, addressing him that way would cheer him up. Rakim just shook his head and kept gazing outside to his friends. He should be out there with them, laughing and idling like they were. But instead, he was in here with me, depressed.

“Is it me? Am I the reason you’re sad?” I asked, coming to the realization that it could be true.

“No, no. You have nothing to do with it, Tre. I’m just a little down, that’s all. I’ll get over it, though.” Rakim assured me. At first I had thought he was disappointed that he wouldn’t be watching me anymore, but now I take it back. He definitely has other—more important, at that—things on his mind than me.

I nodded to show him I understood, but got up and went outside to the guys.

Twelvy was leaning against a silver car smoking a cigarette.

“Hey,” I said, walking to him.

“’Sup?” He asked. I watched him take puff after puff of the cigarette while I tried to figure out what to say. I’d ask him about the dollar sign tattoo and when he thought I should get it, but that’s not what was on my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking of Rakim. 

“Have you spoken to Rakim lately?” I asked him, ignoring my first subject. Twelvy shrugged.

“Nah, I don’t think so. Why?”

“I don’t know…I was just looking for someone that spoke to him, to see if it’s me that’s going crazy or if there is really something wrong with him.”

Twelvy dropped the cigarette and stepped on it hard. He looked me up and down, glanced at Rakim inside the building, and then back at me. “What you mean?”

“He just seems sad, or troubled. Maybe even angry. Whatever; forget I said anything.” I said, starting to walk away. Twelvy pulled me back to him.

“Look…if Rakim starts acting strange, like talking about running away and stuff—”

“Why would he run away?” I cut him off.

“I never said he would. I’m just saying, if he starts saying strange things like that, let me know. Let any one of us in the mob know. But don’t tell anyone outside of A$AP.” Twelvy instructed me. I nodded and went back inside.

Rakim was throwing a bouncy-ball at the wall and catching it when it bounced off the wall again. At least he seemed less glum than he was before. I talked to him, and he laughed a little bit, which cheered me up too.

Things were looking brighter, but still not as happy as usual.

“What do you want to do today?” He asked as he threw the ball hard at the wall. It immediately bounced back into his hand.

“Hmm…” I trailed off. Ideas were popping into my head, all leaning toward Rakim and the dark memories I have of him. That’s when I knew what to do. I smiled at him and said:

“I’ll take you somewhere this time.”

                                                              * * *

The air was thin in contrast to yesterday’s warmer fall weather. I could feel winter rolling in, bringing heavier jackets and less outdoor buzz with it. The streets were emptier, but only because it was 2 o’ clock and most folks were still at work or school.

We finally made our last left turn, bringing us directly into the alley. I got a cold, hostile feeling as we walked further into the alley and I could tell Rakim felt the same way. He refused to look up; his gaze remained at his all-white Nike’s.

“What’s here?” He asked, almost as if it wasn’t a question.

“Huh?”

“What is so special about some garbage alley for us to be here?” He asked. Just by the slight frustration in his voice and the fact that he wouldn’t look up let me know that my thoughts were right. Something about the day I first saw Rakim was troubling him. I don’t know what it is, but it seems important.

“You tell me.” I told him. He gave me a puzzled look. “I just want to know if this alley reminds you of some kind of time in your life; I feel like it reminds me of something.”

Rakim didn’t answer me, but he kept shaking his head. I knew he would have something to say soon. As we walked down the length of the long alley, a mouse ran ahead of us, making Rakim jump. He started cursing under his breath, and I got a little frightened.

“You know what, Tremaine?” He yelled at me. I backed away from him. “This is your last time coming to this alley. Don’t come around here no more. Leave this area alone, okay? I don’t care if it reminds you of anything—stop thinking about it. And if you must come—even though you shouldn’t—and you see somebody here and they ask about me, tell them you never met me. Don’t tell anyone it reminds you of anything.”

I nodded in obedience, and mostly fear. When Rakim was done he squeezed his head and then let go, as if he was in pain.

“You know that friend of yours, Shandy, that came by? Don’t talk about me with her no more. Make her forget my face. The fact that you know me is a secret, okay?” He said. I nodded again.

We left right after that. I knew something for sure that day as we walked away.

Yes, something was wrong with Rakim. And yes, it had something to do with the alley.

All I had to do was put the pieces of the puzzle together.