Metanoia | BTS ff (werewolf au) [Under Editing]

Wistoragic

(⚠️ Warning: this chapter contains a visual representation of excessive bloodbath)

Previously on "Metanoia"~

See~delusion....

Prince Namjoon's POV

Helpless.

There is no pain greater than to be helpless in the face of a loved ones suffering.

The shoreline has become a figment, as if it evaporated in the heat. I wonder if now the world is but one ocean, the waves moving freely, gathering pace. Perhaps that's what happens when you are adrift, you fear that the perfect circle of blue is all that exists.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to thrash around and mourn.

I felt so suffocated. I felt so helpless. Looking at the barely breathing figures of my brothers made me feel helpless. So....so helpless.

I failed them. I failed everyone. I failed her. I failed our mate. I failed my mate. I failed my Y/N.

The wound in our hearts throbbed and burned at her absence. No matter how much we cried....no matter how much we begged every star and that omnipresent deity to keep our precious mate safe and protected......with every swiftly passing day....the silent yet firmly burning flame of our hopeful hearts was dying.

I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be the pillar of support, but I was tired. I was glad that I could lend my brothers my shoulder.....a shoulder on which they could lean on....a shoulder that would always be there for them to weep and hold onto. But....where was I supposed to lean? On whose shoulder was I supposed to cry on?

Even though I had my brothers beside me...who would without a doubt lend me there shoulders to lean, to weep, to rely on.......but how could ask them to be my safe coast when I am the one who's supposed to be their shore. When I am the one who should be strong and be a good leader. When I am the one who's supposed to take care of everyone.....right?

It has been six whole days since we last saw Y/N. Six days since we held her in our arms. Six days since we heard her precious giggles and saw her innocent smile.

I wish there was a better word than 'miss', because we didn't just miss her .......we longed for her. We craved her presence. We yearned for her essence in our soundless house and hushed lives. We wanted her. We needed her.

Every night the heart wrenching cries of the maknaes rang into our ears and echoed through the hollow walls. But it was not only them who bawled their eyes out in the piercing darkness......we were there too. Their hyungs too shed tears but our cries were always shushed by the echoing silence.

We promised her. I promised her. I promised to cradle her close to my heart and never let her go....never ever.

And I failed. I failed her. I failed everyone. I failed myself.