Newt Imagines- Newt x the reader

I hate you

Y/n's pov

Newt locks the door and sits down right outside. The flame in the lantern is blown out by the wind and we sit in the dark, in silence. I can hear him breathing lightly and I like the feeling of his presence, even though I don't know how I feel about him right now. "You don't have to stay with me you know" I say, breaking the silence. "I'm not gonna leave you" He says "I'm the one that got you put in here, so I'm gonna stay with you" I feel gratefulness bubble in my chest, but then feel the urge to cry. I don't want him to see me cry. "But you need sleep, you should go to bed" It's the best I can come up with. But Newt persists, and won't budge from his spot outside. "No Y/n, I'm not leaving you" His breath getting caught on the last words. He's on the edge of tears himself. "No, Newt, Please" I say "Please go, It's ok" I finish, whispering. Tears are starting to gather in my eyes, and I'm trying my hardest to stop them from falling over the edge. "Ok, but I'll be back in the morning" Newt sniffed, his resolve gone. As soon as his shadow is fully gone, my tears stream down my face.

Newt's pov

I walk away and hear Y/n crying. My heart hurts for her, and I want to go back and comfort her. But I know I can't, and even if I could, she wouldn't want me to. My whole being strains for her; for everything to be alright again, for us to be alright again. But instead I go to bed, doing what she asked me to.

Y/n's pov

I cry for about half an hour. By then, I have no more tears left. I cry because of Newt. I want to be able to forgive him, but he hurt me and my emotions felt played with. I feel sad, yes, but more angry. I decide to sleep, let my feelings sort themselves out while I do.

When I wake up, I half expect to feel Newt's arms wrapped around me. Then, the grogginess wears off and I remember where I am. On the floor, inside the slammer. I sit up and wait to be let out. Newt said he'd be here in the morning. He'd surely be up by now; he always got up early to see the runners off. Is he just gonna leave me here?! I start getting angry at him. Then he appears in the doorway, making my anger fade. It isn't gone completely, but the resolve inside me wavers. He smiles at me and I look away. He seems to notice something's off and just opens the door for me. I walk out, not saying thank you and walk over to the breakfast line. Frypan is serving porridge and I sigh when I see it. I grab my bowl of mush and head for the table, smiling when I see Minho. He came out of the Med Hut this morning, looking much better. I feel like after last night we might actually start becoming friends. He's sitting with another boy. One that looks younger than us and is a little more on the pudgy side, with curly hair. I walk over and sit next to them, Minho introducing the boy as Chuck. He beams at me and his smile is contagious. I see Newt out of the corner of my eye, watching us, and I almost feel bad for him. He made his decision, I tell myself. And that is all I need to forget about him for the time being. I turn my attention back to Minho and Chuck, and realise the boy is telling a story. I try my best to listen, but he's talking so fast it's hard to keep up. By the time he's finished talking, he's out of breath and I've finished my breakfast. I hadn't noticed until now, but Minho left sometime during the story; probably to go off into the maze. Chuck has to start working, so I walk with him until he gets to where he needs to be. "Bye Y/n. It was nice to meet you!" He said as he ran to his keeper. "Bye Chuck" I called after him, laughing at his silly little run. I can already tell that we're going to be good friends.

I walk around the glade, not doing anything, just looking around. I walk around every wall and every building. I walk for what feels like only a few hours, but by the time I get back to the middle of the glade, the sun is creeping behind the walls and I see the runners; including Minho, coming out of the map room. Still, I wander around, looking at all the other gladers milling around and finishing work for the day. I sigh. I want to be like them, but I can hardly get through a single trial day of work. Also, my problem with Newt. I was right when I thought that my feelings would sort themselves out while I slept. I've also had all day to think about it. But as a result of this, I just feel angry. My sadness faded with my tears last night and left a fire burning inside me. Newt hurt me and I'm not ok with it. At that moment he walks up to me looking crushed. He looked sadder than I thought possible. "Please Y/n, can I please talk to you. I want to figure this out." I must give him a look of disgust because he grimaces, but continues. "I want to fix whatever happened between us. I want to go back to normal. Please Y/n, please." He looks and sounds so pathetic, begging me like this. I have the same feeling as when I did when I punched Minho. Cold and harsh. I'm going to explode, but this time I can feel it's different. I won't be physical, it'll be my words that hurt. "REALLY NEWT!? REALLY!?" He jumps back slightly, taken aback by my sudden outburst. A few heads turn in our direction, but no one does or says anything. "YOU'VE HAD A WHOLE DAY TO TALK TO ME, AND NOW THAT YOU FINALLY DO, 'PLEASE' IS ALL YOU CAN SAY!?" I yell at him "What do you want me to say?" He asks "Oh I don't know, how about sorry?!?!" I say, but not as loudly as before. "What the bloody hell do I need to be sorry for?" he asks, biting back, his sadness turning to anger. "For taking Alby's side over mine!" I practically scream in his face. "You go on about how you love me and how we can be together. But when it comes down to it, you don't stand up for me!" I shout "Now hold on a bloody second" he says. I can tell he's trying to hold back from yelling at me "No Newt." I shout "You chose them over me! And that's fine. Whatever!" I yell, tears starting to roll down my face. I'm trying to end this because people are starting to crowd around and I don't want to keep yelling. However Newt won't let it go. "Y/n listen to me!" He shouts "I'd choose you over anyone else anyday, but I can't just let you get away. I finally got the chance to, you go and betray me!!! It's not alright Newt! It's not!" I say, tears threatening to choke me. But my tears aren't just angry tears; they're a mix of sad and angry. "Y/n! I didn't betray you!" Newt shouts. "You have to bloody learn the rules like everyone else, no matter how much I like you! Someone in the crowd - I think Alby - yells "Amen brother" and I hear a few cheers. I suddenly feel like the whole world is against me. I don't want to be here anymore, but I still have a few points to make. "I don't care about the rules. You're supposed to love me!" I scream at him. It looks like I struck a nerve, so I keep going. "You're the worst! You did betray me! Whether you know it or not! I don't think I'll ever forgive you!" I finish. I can feel the anger inside me start to fade so I say one last thing before storming off "I hate you!"