Drunk words are sober thoughts

Abuse

This chapter will have mentions of rape, put as easy yet respectful as I can, it's what happens after words! I will put a warning. I do not mean to offend anyone! Rape is a serious topic and should never be put lightly!

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There was a tense silence as they rode back to the castle they now call home. Everyone was still mourning, it was awkward, tense, annoying and irritating in a way that made everyone want do to or say something! The 104th squad (minus Eren) wanted to reassure each other, but didn't know how. Levi and Hanji had a mix of emotions and thoughts going on the whole way back and was just to in there heads, thinking, to even try to offer some sort of silent way to calm everyone down and ease the tension.

Various thoughts were going through their heads,

'So many people...' Connie, Sasha, Jean.

'I'm glad Armin and Eren are safe but still...' Mikasa.

'Capitan saved me over the commander, why? I'm not special, or smart, or confident or brave, so why? He should of chose the commander.' Armin

'Is Capitan Levi okay? Why did Hanji...No! You know why she looked at you like that you monst-! No. No. No. No. I can't think like that, surely Hanji's just overwhelmed. It'll be fine, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Sasha, Connie, their all alive! And so is Capitan and Squad Leader! Yes, Commander didn't make it, and I do feel guilty, and yes it's my fault he's dead, and that Levi's mourning and- NO! Didn't I just say I wasn't going to think like that!? Everything will be fine.' Eren.

'Erwin. Erwin's dead. He's dead. And so's Moblit. I loved them. Erwin, Moblit. We were so close. Erwin I've known forever and I've also known Moblit forever. It's Erens fault! If he weren't so persistent and cruel then Erwin would still be alive! And after I went and treated him so nicely too! I took care of him, healed his wounds when they were to much, brought him food when he was exhausted after training and experiments! And this is the thanks I get!? How selfish is he!?' Hange.

'It's all Jeagers fault! He's selfish, manipulative and cruel! I can't believe that I actually used to think he loved me! And I actually loved him back! He's a heartless monster! I can't believe he fooled me into thinking he was kind, and honest, and loving!' Levi.

As soon as the Levi Squad entered the castle Levi ordered everyone to head to there rooms and not to come out, even in the morning. 

"Only come out when your door is knocked on! Got it?" He said. Sounding stern, as always, but more, broken, emotionless, as if there was a waterfall of unknown emotions just waiting to come out, and there was.

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*WARNING! MENTIONS OF RAPE UNTIL THE END OF THE CHAPTER*

" Capitan?" Eren said, sitting in his small bed as Levi unlocks the previously locked cell. It had only been a few hours since he was locked in and Eren was curious as to what Capitan was doing awake, even more curious as to why he was visiting Eren.

"Um, Capitan?" He said, having not gotten a response the first time. Levi was walking to him, head down and eyes hidden from view. Normally, even if his Capitan had his head down he's still be able to see those gorgeous blue-grey eyes he loves so much, but Levi hadn't so much as looked and any of the torch-

His thought process is cut off by Levi straddling him and shoving a gag in his mouth.

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A thousand thoughts and feelings are going through Eren's head as Levi walks out of the cold cell. The one most on his mind is, 'I feel disgusting.' He can't wrap his head around what just happened, his titan powers are almost finished healing his wounds but the pain and exhaustion that comes from his healing makes it worse. 

'I feel disgusting, I need a shower. I can't get up. My legs and back hurts. Everywhere hurts. I can't do this. Why did this happen to me? Help, no, wait, don't help. If anyone find's me like this...No. They'll hate me. I could've fought back, but I didn't. This is my fault. It's my fault.'

That's the last thing Eren thinks before blacking out.

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*END OF CHAPTER*

Eren!😭😭😭😭 I'm so sorry if I trigger something of offended someone! If there's anything that seems as if it's mocking rape victims and the severity of it then PLEASE comment about it so I can change it or remove it! Rape is a serious topic and I wish I could offer some advice but all I can really say is, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault.

Other then that(Once again, not trying to offend anyone, I'm simply uncomfortable speaking about this topic) I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the quick update! Thank you all for already liking this story and please check out my other storys!