After the mission to reclaim Wall Maria Eren notices everyone start to distance them self's from him, what effect will this have on Eren's mental health?
"EREN!" The next thing I know, I'm on the ground. "Wha-" I take a second to finally understand what's happening. Levi's on top of me, crying, he just stopped me from killing myself. "Levi, why-" Before I could say anything else he collapses onto me. He hugs me, sobbing. "I LOVE YOU EREN! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!" He yells, I can hear the pain in his voice, the gasps for breath. "Then why did you say-" He cut me off again. "BECAUSE, I'M AN IDIOT! A SELFISH, COLD, MANIPULATIVE IDIOT!" He takes a breath, "I'm sorry. I love you more than anything in the world." He sits us both up on our knees in front of each other.
He smiles at me, apologetic and loving. "I love you more than you will ever know." Despite his now calm, soft, loving, voice tears are still streaming down his face. "Capitan..." I say softly, I don't know what to say. 'The Capitan that I thought hated me loves me? Does this mean I don't have to commit suicide now? No, just because I almost killed myself doesn't make the pain go away. My heart, while somewhat happy, is still shattered.'
"I'm sorry Capitan, but, just because you love me doesn't mean that I wont go through with the suicide." His smile falters, suddenly becoming empty, eyes growing blank and wide, "What?" He says softly, almost a whisper. I can't help but whisper back, "I'm sorry, the scars on my heart, while they may be healed with time, I don't want time, I don't want to heal." His expression only slightly changes, looking less empty, but still shocked, 'He looks as if he's having a battle in his brain.' I think. He seems to come to a decision before saying, "Okay."
"I know- Wait, what?" I whisper in shock, I thought he would never let me. "On one condition." He says. "Capitan with all due respect, I don't think-" He cuts me off, "Kill me first." My brain stops working, my heart stops beating, I can't move my body or talk. After a minute, I whisper, "What?" It's so airy and shocked that it sounded more like wind. "Kill me first, let me sit on your lap, and then your going to shoot me." He says, in that voice he uses that lets us know there's no arguing with him.
"NO! I WON'T ALLOW IT!" I yell, "TO BAD! YOU DO IT WITH ME OR NOT AT ALL!" "CAPITAN-" "NO! WITH ME OR NOT AT ALL! CHOOSE ONE!" I hesitate, 'Is he really making me choose? Here? Now? About THIS?', "Capitan you don't understand-" I get cut off again, "No, YOU, don't understand, I want nothing more than to die in your arms. I want you to kill me. I want to die with you. I want to die. Years, YEARS! I have watched me comrades, friends and family, get eaten. I know that even if I am Humanity's Strongest, even if I am worth a hundred men, I'll still die form titans. I'm a soldier, it's the only way I will die unless I commit suicide." He pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing,
"I can't imagine dying without you, I can't imagine a world, without you...I can't imagine living without you. Your my other half now. With out you I'd feel so, empty, I was empty! WHen you weren't here I always felt like something was missing, that something is you." He kisses me before I get a chance to respond, unlike all our other kisses, this ones, slow, soft, passionate, expressing all his emotions, love, kindness, heartbreak, understanding, desire, all these things I can feel in this kiss and I finally understand why he want's to die with me. I break away and before he can say anything, "Okay. I'll kill you."
"You're still a clean freak, even in death." I say teasingly, smirking. "Shut up." Capi- Levi, says. It's been two hours since I said okay. Capitan wanted to shower, get dressed in fancy clothes, and then write a note clearing up any misunderstandings, saying that he wanted this and stuff, 'To make sure you have a somewhat good reputation.' He said. Now, we're sitting on the floor. His head needed to be bandaged after tackling me to the ground, he banged his head onto the ground next to me, I don't know how I didn't notice. We'd been making jokes within then and now, in an attempt to lighten the mood, it worked but now it's not the time for that. (A/N Look to the top, that's what they're wearing and the position they're in. Eren didn't want to change, said that his best memories were in the Survey Corps."
He sits on my lap, I hesitate before bringing the gun up to his head. He notices my hesitance and says, "I love you Eren, more than anything. I want you to promise me something real quick." He says, looking up at me from my shoulder, "Do you believe in reincarnation? I do, lets meet again, in a world where we can be happy, where we can love each other freely, where we can travel the world risk free." I look him in the eyes and smile sadly, "I promise." I whisper. He smiles sadly, and, never breaking eye contact, nods. 'I love you' He mouths, I pull the trigger. His eyes become lifeless, I run my fingers through his hair and watch as the last signs of life fall away. 'I once heard a person in the market say that a dead persons eyes look just like there sleeping.' I thought as I closed his eyes, not moving him from my shoulder or lap. 'They were wrong. I love you too Levi, your my other half as well, I always felt like something was missing, now I know why, I love you Levi.' I think, I put the gun to my head, "BANG!"
This story is finally over!😭😭😭 I'm so sorryyyyyy!😭😭😭 This whole story was so sad and angsty and I thought about writing a happy ending but it just wasn't going to happen! I'm so sorry!
I really hope you enjoyed "Drunk words are sober thoughts"! I will be doing and epilogue in three days, on the twenty-second so wait for that! Once again I'm so sorry and I hope you enjoyed this story!
Here's two Ereri pictures to make up for the sad ending:
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