Walking the tight rope

A new servant and a dark secret

“Shiki I will never understand why you put up with such filthy beings when you have me and Ahri by your side and a whole kingdom waiting for you to take your throne as the heir to the Demon world” he says through gritted teeth at me.

“Because Alucard I am one of those so called Filthy beings that you despise so much” I spat back at him, starting to lose my temper “Also soon he will not be around much longer, I have had a plan in place since the moment he mentioned the agreement. However you were too blinded by jealously to take any notice.” He shut up for once, after I said this and the added fact that I was starting to lose my temper. “Shiki, even if you have a plan in place I still don’t want you to be defiled by him the way that, that man had defiled you and I was unable to protect you at that time.” 

“Alucard have you forgotten that I never dwell on the past I just keep moving forward. After all no one would care if I disappear or got lost in my past unable to move forward in the present time. That is the proper fate for an impure monster” I saw with my usual cold and lifeless expression that I wear so often before all this. “But that’s not true Shiki I would care if you disappeared also, Alucard, Ahri, and Stein we would all become sad if you just disappeared so stop talking like that.” Luca pleaded with a sad look in his eye. I had forgotten that he was still in here and when I looked into his one good eye I saw the fear of being abandoned again in his eye. It is funny how little kid’s honesty can make us feel so stupid at times.            “You have nothing to worry about Luca it was just a metaphor I am not really going to disappear, I have to look after you after all” I say while messing up his hair. He smiled up at me as I started stand up slowly, Alucard giving me support. “Now I want you to be a good boy while I take a quick shower, ok?” I ask him with a fake smile, he was too young to realize that it was a fake smile since he just nodded and said ok as I walked into the restroom after giving Alucard orders to find out about Crows conditions for me. Once inside the bathroom I closed the door before taking off the ugly Green hospital gown and looking in the mirror. My chest and stomach were covered in bandages and my face had a few bruises and scrapes that seemed to be healing well. When I took off my bandages I found stitches all over some following old wounds while others criss cross over old wounds making patterns all over my body. What a pain I thought as I climbed into the shower and turned on the hot water to as hot as it would go. This would usually burn normal people but to my skin it felt very relaxing since I could tune out my body’s senses to where I wouldn’t feel heat or cold or even pain. I learned this trick at a young age, the first time was when dad had died I just shut down completely and let my instincts run wild. The second time was when that man took away my purity; I could do nothing at the time since mother wouldn’t let me harm him even after I told her what had happened. I was 8 years old when it all started, I had just came home after regaining my memories of the incident, I was having trouble falling asleep when he came into the room. I pretended to be asleep; hoping that he would just walk back to his room and that would be the end of it. But that didn’t happen instead he walked over to the bed and woke me up before whispering,

“Hey little girl I got an important job for you” his voice sounded innocent but his eyes showed his true intentions and it did not look good. I tried to make up excuses but he wouldn’t listen instead he started to force my clothes off me, I tried to stop him but he would just push me back down. Before I knew it I was laying naked on the bed as his hands explored my body against my will. His hands were cold and rough on my skin and when I thought it was finally over, my hopes were shattered as I saw him quickly taking his clothes off and climbing into the bed. I tried to fight back by kicking and punching but it was no use he had me pinned down. Then he would start to punch and hit me in order to get me stay still and be quiet as he got himself into position. He covered my mouth so no one would hear me scream as he pushed his thing into me, the pain was unbearable and I began to see black spots as he moved it in and out. At some point I lost consciousness because the next thing I knew I was being beaten awake since he didn’t want me to be asleep, instead he wanted to watch my face as it contorted in pain as tears rolled down my face. When it was finally over I curled into a ball and sobbed quietly.